Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Check Out the Evolution of Miley Cyrus in One Animated GIF
You haven’t seen just how far MILEY CYRUS has come . . . or how low she’s gone . . . until you see this animated GIF that traces her evolution from adorable child star to whatever the hell she is now. (Check it out here. And here’s a funny pic of what Miley might look like when she’s old.)
Mary McCormack Kicked her Husband Out of the House for Making Out With Katharine McPhee
: MARY MCCORMACK kicked her husband, director Michael Morris, out of their house on Sunday after she found out he was messing around with KATHARINE MCPHEE. Morris reportedly told her the pictures were about to come out, and she sent him packing.
Did Pauly D Try to Get His Baby-Mama to Have an Abortion?
PAULY D’S baby-mama claims she has texts from Pauly in which he tried to get her to abort the baby that was conceived during their Vegas fling. But yesterday Pauly said, quote, “Sometimes in life things aren’t planned and they may even scare you at first, but they end up being a blessing.”
Robin Thicke’s Dad Told Him Not to Stare at a Pretty Woman . . . Because He Might Ruin His Chances With a Prettier One
: ROBIN THICKE shared some advice he once got from his father, sitcom legend ALAN THICKE. Robin was staring at a pretty girl, and Alan told him, quote, “What if there’s a prettier girl sitting two tables away? Now she’s not going to feel special.” (???)
Was Lindsay Lohan Reaching for a Wine Bottle . . . or Her Purse?
A so-called “source” says LINDSAY LOHAN wasn’t reaching for a bottle of wine in that picture that’s been circulating for the last few days.
She was reaching for her purse and her cell phone . . . and the, quote, “photo angle was set up” to make it look like she was going after the booze.
Has Brad Pitt Stopped Using Soap?
BRAD PITT has reportedly been STINKING lately, because he’s given up using soap. He feels that it’s full of toxins and it’s both bad for the planet and speeds up the aging process. Instead he uses, quote, “a homemade
concoction of lemons, water and apple cider vinegar.”
“Bad Grandpa” and “The Counselor” Are in Theaters This Weekend
Michael Fassbender plays a lawyer tempted into setting up a one-time drug deal for one of his shady clients, played by Javier Bardem.
It’s directed by Ridley Scott, and based on a screenplay by Cormac McCarthy, the guy who wrote “The Road” and “No Country for Old Men”. Ridley dedicated the movie to his brother Tony Scott . . . who committed suicide in August of last year.
Penelope Cruz plays Fassbender’s naive fiancée, Cameron Diaz is Bardem’s sociopathic girlfriend, and Brad Pitt is the middle man who brokers the deal between them and a dangerous Mexican drug cartel.
Johnny Knoxville returns as his old man character, Irving Zisman, in a “Jackass” movie that actually has a PLOT for a change. In this one, Irving gets stuck with his 8-year-old grandson and is taking him across the country to find his deadbeat dad.
Along the way they pull hidden camera stunts on unsuspecting people, which include . . . his wife falling out of the casket during her funeral . . . the kid dressing in drag and busting into a stripper routine during a children’s beauty pageant . . .
. . . grandpa entertaining some women at a male strip joint . . . and even getting his junk stuck in a vending machine. (You can see that in the Red Band Trailer.)
Friday TV Reminders:
• “The Carrie Diaries” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.
• “Grimm” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. The show returns with a two-part conclusion to the cliffhanger that led to Nick being captured by the voodoo witch doctor who’s been turning Portland into zombies.
• “Dracula” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays Dracula and Jessica De Guow plays his love interest Mina. Katie McGrath, a.k.a. the chick who played Morgana on “Merlin”, is her friend Lucy.
• “Strike Back: Origins” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Cinemax. “The Walking Dead’s” Andrew Lincoln and “The Hobbit’s” Richard Armitage team up for this drama about two former soldiers who shared a past in the Iraq invasion.
• “Secret Princes” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on TLC. Four princes do some undercover dating in Texas.
Saturday TV Reminders:
• “World Series” [Game 3] . . . 7:30 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on Fox. The St. Louis Cardinals host the Boston Red Sox. The fourth game airs tomorrow night.
• “Zombie Night” . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy. Daryl Hannah and Anthony Michael Hall star in this made-for-TV movie about a small town fighting the undead. Shirley Jones plays her mom and Zombie-Shirley eventually attacks her daughter.
• “Austin City Limits” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on PBS. Vampire Weekend and Grizzly Bear perform.
• “Saturday Night Live” . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. Edward Norton guest hosts and Janelle Monáe is the musical guest.
Sunday TV Reminders:
• “Sunday Night Football” . . . 8:15 to 11:15 P.M. Eastern on NBC. The Minnesota Vikings host the Green Bay Packers.
• “World Series” [Game 4] . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on Fox. The St. Louis Cardinals host the Boston Red Sox.
• “I Dream of Nene: The Wedding” [Finale] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo.
• “The Walking Dead” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on AMC.
• “Oprah’s Next Chapter” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. “Modern Family’s” Jesse Tyler Ferguson, “Scandal’s” Dan Bucatinsky, and Wanda Sykes talk about what it’s like being gay in Hollywood. Dan plays Cyrus’ gay lover on the show.
• “The Governor’s Wife” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E. A reality show about Trina Edwards, the sexy third wife of 85-year-old former Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards. She’s 50 years younger than him and they met as pen pals during his prison sentence for bribery and extortion.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – NFL player Adrian Peterson talks about the murder of his infant son.
• “Good Morning America” – Katy Perry performs.
• “CBS This Morning” – Josh Charles (“The Good Wife”) and Dr. Ruth.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Penelope Cruz (“The Counselor”) and Malin Akerman (“Trophy Wife”).
• “The View” – Alec Baldwin (“Up Late with Alec Baldwin”) and Anjelah Johnson.
• “Rachael Ray” – Julie Andrews. Plus: Guilt-free Halloween candies.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Diddy talks about Revolt TV, and Mary Steenburgen promotes her movie “Last Vegas”. Plus: Elizabeth Berkley performs with her “Dancing with the Stars” partner Val Chmerkovskiy. And Derek Hough is the guest DJ.
• “The Talk” – Viola Davis (“Enders Game”), David Giuntoli (“Grimm”), and TMZ’s Harvey Levin.
• “Katie Couric” – Jamie Foxx talks about being cast as Martin Luther King Jr. in an upcoming Oliver Stone movie.
• “Queen Latifah Show” – Alyson Hannigan, “Young and the Restless” stud Eric Braeden, and country singer Thomas Rhett.
• “Steve Harvey” – Advice for single mothers with out-of-control children.
• “Dr. Phil” – Antonio Sabato Jr. debates with the director of the Beverly Hills Cannabis Club as he campaigns for a law banning medical marijuana in homes with children under 18.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – Answers to 5 Embarassing Questions About Health Habits.
• “Wendy Williams” – Kirk Fox pimps his new conflict-resolution talk show “The Test“.
• “Bethenny” – Melissa Rycroft, Garcelle Beauvais, and Heather Dubrow (“Real Housewives of Orange County”) talk about motherhood. PLUS: A 73-year-old twerker and “Jersey Shore’s” Vinny Guadagnino.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Cher performs. (REPEAT)
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Kerry Washington. Music Guest: Sleigh Bells.
• “The Tonight Show” – Comedienne Wanda Sykes and “Today’s” chief foreign correspondent Richard Engel. Music Guest: Scotty McCreery.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Judd Apatow. Music Guest: Pearl Jam.
• “Carson Daly” – Kal Penn (Discovery Channel’s “The Big Brain Theory”) and director Shane Carruth. Music Guest: The Neighbourhood. (REPEAT)
• “Arsenio” – Andrew Dice Clay and Wayne Brady (“Let’s Make a Deal”), “Dancing with the Stars” partners Amber Riley and Derek Hough. (REPEAT)
• “Craig Ferguson” – Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“Enough Said”). (REPEAT)
• “Chelsea Lately” – Mixed martial artist Brendan Schaub. (REPEAT)
The Five Reasons We Go to Work Sick . . . and the Ten Most Ridiculous Excuses For Not Going to Work
According to a new survey, 30% of us go to work sick so we can save sick days for when we’re not REALLY sick. And the most ridiculous sick day EXCUSES employers have heard this year include, “My false teeth flew out the window while I was driving” . . . “Someone glued my doors and windows shut” . . . and “I couldn’t decide what to wear.”
1. 33% of people have called in sick because they just didn’t feel like working that day.
2. 28% have done it because they need a day off to relax. (Which kind of goes hand-in-hand with the last one.)
3. So they can go to a doctor’s appointment without worrying about getting back to the office . . . 24%.
4. To catch up on sleep . . . 19%.
5. To run errands or take care of a personal matter . . . 14%.
CareerBuilder also asked employers for the most ridiculous EXCUSES people have used to get out of work in the past year. Here are the top ten.
1. My false teeth flew out the window while I was driving.
2. My favorite football team lost on Sunday, and I needed Monday to recover.
3. I’m grouchy because I’m trying to quit smoking.
4. Someone glued my doors and windows shut, and I can’t get out of my house.
5. I bit my tongue, and I can’t talk.
6. My car was surrounded by a swarm of BEES.
7. I ate too much turkey and fell asleep before my shift.
8. I need to finish my Christmas shopping.
9. I can’t get my glass eye to stay in.
10. I couldn’t decide on what to wear.
There’s a New Record For the World’s Strongest Beer . . . and It’s Stronger Than Vodka, Whiskey, and Tequila
There’s a new record for the world’s strongest beer. A brewery in Scotland just created a beer that’s 67.5% alcohol, or 135 PROOF. That means it’s stronger than pretty much any vodka, whiskey, or tequila. But if you want a bottle, it’ll cost more than $100 to have it shipped in from Scotland.
The 11 Types of Alcohol Americans Drink Most
According to a new study, more than one in three Americans drink alcohol at LEAST once a week. And only 21% never drink at all. The five types of alcohol we drink the most often are beer, wine, vodka, whiskey, and champagne.
1. Beer, 34%.
2. Wine, 31%.
3. Vodka, 11%.
4. Whiskey, 6%. That breaks down to 3% bourbon, 2% scotch, and 1% other.
5. Champagne, 4%.
6. Rum, 3%.
7. Tequila, 3%.
8. Gin, 2%.
9. Cordials and liqueurs, 1%.
10. Cognac, 1%.
11. Brandy, 1%. (Harris Interactive)
Guys, What’s the Most Feminine Thing You Do?
Here’s a question, guys: What’s the most feminine thing you do? Some of the best answers we’ve heard are a guy who loves shopping and gets upset when no one notices his new clothes . . . a guy who has such long, thick eyelashes that women always tell him they’re jealous . . . and a 6-foot-2 guy who skips to work in his suit every day because it makes him feel like he’s in a musical.
1. I have long, thick eyelashes. Women tell me all the time they’re jealous of them.
2. I truly love shopping for clothes. And if I wear a new shirt to work and no one notices, it bums me out.
3. I am 6-foot-2 and wear a suit . . . and I skip down the street to work every day. It makes me happy and feels like I’m in a musical.
4. If I’m feeling really stressed out I’ll buy a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and watch an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy”.
5. I really like cuddling . . . but only when I’m the little spoon.
6. I order girly drinks at bars. I just like how they taste.
7. Sometimes I like taking a bubble bath with candles when I’m not feeling well.
8. I always sit down to pee. (Reddit)
The Three Colors You Should Never Wear on a Date
: In a new survey, both men and women say the least attractive color you can wear on a date is . . . YELLOW. Men also don’t like brown, and women don’t like pink. Men say the most attractive color a woman can wear on a date is RED . . . women say the most attractive color a man can wear is GRAY.
Women in a Small Town Have Launched a Sex Strike . . . So No One’s Getting Any Until a Road Is Fixed
: The women in a small town in Colombia just launched a SEX STRIKE . . . no one’s getting any until the one road into town is fixed. The road is in such bad shape, it can take 14 hours just to get to a hospital 35 miles away. So far, it seems like it’s working . . . work HAS started up on the road.
Six More Unwritten Rules of Life That Everyone Should Follow
We’ve got a few more UNWRITTEN RULES in life that everyone should follow. Like, if you finish the coffee, make more . . . don’t tag people in Facebook photos when they look like crap . . . and never tell a pregnant woman she looks huge.
1. If you finish the coffee, make more.
2. If a car stops for you to cross the street, hustle a little.
3. Don’t ask people how much they paid for things. It makes them uncomfortable, and it’s a boring conversation anyway.
4. Wipe down equipment at the gym when you’re done.
5. Never ask a pregnant woman when she’s due, touch her belly without asking, or say, “You’re huge!”
6. If someone looks bad in a photo, don’t tag them on Facebook. (News.com.au)
Katy Perry – 29 (John Mayer’s current piece. She’s all-natural . . . for now. But when she starts to really sag, you know she’s gonna have work done. There’s too much money wrapped up in those things.)
Ciara – 28 (The First Lady of Crunk & B. Despite the rumors that were going around, Ciara was NOT born a MAN. Her “goodies” are all minx, baby.)
Josh Henderson – 32 (John Ross Ewing on TNT’s “Dallas”.)
Craig Robinson – 42 (Darryl on “The Office” . . . Delaney and “Zack and Miri Make a Porno”, the doorman in “Knocked Up” and . . . HIMSELF in “This Is the End”. He likes drugs.)
Pedro Martinez – 42 (Future hall of fame pitcher who won three Cy Youngs and one World Series with the Boston Red Sox.)
Adam Goldberg – 43 (He WAS Mike Newhouse in “Dazed and Confused”.)
(He also played Richard Sol in “A Beautiful Mind” AND the title character in a superhero movie you never saw called “The Hebrew Hammer”. He also played Nick Rubinstein, the sleazy, spoiled, rich producer of Vince and E’s movie “Medellin” on “Entourage” . . . and Joey’s crazy roommate Eddie on “Friends”.)
Chely Wright – 43 (Openly lesbian country MINX.)
SPEECH – 45 (Arrested Development.)
Keisha – 47 (Naturally-stacked mattress actress who’s starred in 323 fine films, including . . . “Fatal Erection”, “Ali Boobie &The 40 D’s”, “The Long Ranger” . . . AND “The Fist, The Whole Fist And Nothing But The Fist”.)
Chad Smith – 52 (Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer who looks just like Will Ferrell.) (You can see a gallery of comparison photos here.)
Christina Amphlett – Would have been 54 – (1959 – 2013) (Divinyls’ very chesty singer. Their biggest hit is “I Touch Myself”.)
Nancy Cartwright – 56 (The voice of Bart Simpson . . . not to mention Nelson Muntz, Rod AND Todd Flanders and the amazing Ralph Wiggum.)
(She was also the chick who got banished to CARTOON LAND in “Twilight Zone: The Movie”.)
Glenn Tipton – 66 (Judas Priest guitarist.)
“TAFFY” DANOFF! – 69 (Starland Vocal Band. Remember “Afternoon Delight”? I do!)
Jon Anderson – 69 (The only Yes lead singer who matters . . . although he and the band had a falling out and they now have a NEW singer.)
James Carville – 69 (Looks like a snake. He’s Billy Clinton’s boy.)
HELEN REDDY – 72 (“I Am Woman”.)
Bobby Knight – 73 (Retired college basketball anger-ball.)
MARION ROSS – 85 (Mrs. “C”. Marion Cunningham on “Happy Days”.)
BILLY BARTY – (1924 – 2000) (He was Hollywood’s go-to little person for DECADES. He was the Peter Dinklage of his time . . . although he never got his own show like Peter did. But he PAVED THE WAY for Peter’s success. In other words, Peter stands on the shoulders of this not-so-giant giant!)
John Matuszak – (1950 – 1989) (Ex-football player turned actor. He was Sloth in “Goonies”, Killjoy in “The Ice Pirates” and, as if that weren’t enough, Tonda in the RINGO STARR comedy spectacular “Caveman”.)
(Died of heart failure at the age of 38. DON’T TAKE STEROIDS!)
Minnie Pearl – (1912 – 1996) (Country legend. Real name: Sarah Ophelia Colley Cannon.)
Pablo Picasso – (1881 – 1973) (Tight quote: “My mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a General. If you become a monk, you’ll end up as the Pope.’ Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 6 days until Halloween
• 9 days until Daylight Savings Ends
• 14 days to “Thor: The Dark World”
• 34 days until Thanksgiving
• 61 days until Thanksgiving
• 1,183 days left of “Hope and Change”
58 years ago . . . in 1955 – The FIRST MICROWAVE OVEN was sold. . . by Tappan. It cost $1,200. . . but it could cook bacon in 90 seconds.
49 years ago . . . in 1964 – The ROLLING STONES made their first appearance on the “Ed Sullivan Show”. Numerous complaint letters prompted Sullivan to promise they’d never appear on his show again. . . but, of course, they did in 1965.
40 years ago . . . in 1973 – JOHN LENNON filed a lawsuit against the U.S. government, alleging that his telephone was being tapped at a time when he was fighting a deportation order.
35 years ago . . . in 1978 – JOHN CARPENTER’S “Halloween” premiered in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. It starred JAMIE LEE CURTIS and her big breasts. Oh, and some guy in a mask with a big knife. (The ROB ZOMBIE remakes . . . your thoughts?)
33 years ago . . . in 1980 – PAUL KANTNER of JEFFERSON AIRPLANE suffered a stroke, and said it happened during sex. He suffered no permanent damage from his stroke during sex.
33 years ago . . . in 1980 – THE POPE said divorced Catholics who remarry can only receive communion if they ABSTAIN FROM SEX.
27 years ago . . . in 1986 – In Game 6 of the World Series, New York Met Mookie Wilson hit a slow roller to first base that WENT THROUGH BILL BUCKNER’S LEGS.
22 years ago . . . in 1991 – Rock promoter BILL GRAHAM died at 60, in a helicopter crash while returning from a HUEY “HUNG” LEWIS CONCERT at the Concord Pavilion in California.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 – TINY TIM’S UKULELE WAS STOLEN from a Des Moines, Iowa, hotel lobby. Unfortunately, it was found a few hours later in a trash bin.
20 years ago . . . in 1993 – VINCENT PRICE, the Master of Horror AND the man who played EGGHEAD on “Batman”, died of the lung cancer at age 82. (He also did vocal tracks for Alice Cooper’s “Welcome to My Nightmare” album and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.)