Your daily dose of Whatever!!

What on God's Green Earth Happened to Renee Zellweger's Face??? 

 

 

RENEE ZELLWEGER attended the "Elle" magazine Women in Hollywood event on Monday night looking like . . . ANYONE BUT RENEE ZELLWEGER.

 

 

Seriously . . . Renee has had something done to her face, to the point where she doesn't even look like herself.  For one thing, her signature SQUINTY EYES seem to be a thing of the past.  But there's more.  (Check out some pics here.)

 

David Arquette and His Fiancée are Still Together 

 

 

Despite their little public show the other night on the streets of Hollywood, DAVID ARQUETTE and his fiancée CHRISTINA MCLARTY are still together.  And David is taking responsibility for the whole ugly scene.

 

 

He says it was just an argument fueled by the stress of new parenthood . . . adding, quote, "We are both hormonal and haven't slept in six months.  Christina is still breastfeeding, and I feel like I am."

Nicki Minaj's Boyfriend Got His Nicki Minaj Tattoos Covered 

NICKI MINAJ's boyfriend Safaree Samuels, got two of his Nicki tattoos COVERED, and is in the process of getting the third removed.  Does that mean they broke up?  A source claims they're still together, but Nicki wanted him to remove the tats because she wants to keep her dating life private.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  (CAREFUL!)  I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this RAY RICE Halloween costume is in bad taste.

 

 

 

2.  RIHANNA has a silly case that makes her phone look like a STONE AGE cell phone.

 

 

 

3.  BLAKE LIVELY busted out some pregnant cleavage.

 

 

 

4.  MICHAEL STRAHAN showed off some EPIC ABS on the set of "Magic Mike XXL".

 

 

 

5.  Here's KRIS JENNER having a supposed "romantic dinner" with some guy.  The pictures are grainy, but he looks considerably younger than her.

 

 

 

6.  Here's a gallery of 26 hot hockey players.

Matthew McConaughey Says Camila Alves Pushed Him Into Marrying Her, Saying "Either [Crap] or Get Off the Pot" 

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY says part of the reason he married CAMILA ALVES was that she FORCED him to.  He says, quote, "Some of it had to do with her putting it on me.  It took her going, 'C'mon, Big Boy, Mr. Easygoing-We'll-Get-to-It-When-We-Get-to-It.  Either [crap] or get off the pot.'"

Jennifer Garner Says People Ask Her How She Balances Work and Family . . . But They Ask Ben Affleck About His Co-Stars' Boobs 

At a Women in Hollywood event this week, JENNIFER GARNER noted that the press always asks her stuff about how she balances work and family life.  But nobody ever asks that of her husband BEN AFFLECK.  They just want to know about the boobs of his hot co-stars.

Twerking is Not Feminism, According to Annie Lennox 

ANNIE LENNOX has a message for women in the music industry who equate acting like HOOCHIE MAMAS with being "feminist" . . . quote, "Twerking is not feminism.  It's not liberating, it's not empowering.  It's a sexual thing that you're doing on a stage;  it doesn't empower you."

Does Kelly Osbourne Really Think She Needs to Fund Her Parents' Retirement? 

 

 

OZZY and SHARON OSBOURNE are worth an estimated $236 MILLION.  Yet for some reason, their daughter KELLY thinks they'll need some financial help in their retirement.

 

 

She says, quote, "My dream is to make enough money doing what I love so that my parents never have to work again and I can look after them.  They've been through too much [crap], it's enough already.

 

 

"I want eventually for them to be able to be that couple on a yacht traveling the world and not having to worry about anything, because they've given me so much.  It's time for us to look after them."

Daniel Radcliffe Thinks It's Crap That One Direction Beat Him on a Rich List 

 

 

For the second year in a row, ONE DIRECTION beat "Harry Potter" star DANIEL RADCLIFFE to the number one spot on the list of Britain's richest stars under 30.  The guys in One D are worth $125 million, while Daniel "only" has a little over $102 million.

 

 

But Daniel is JOKINGLY calling FOUL.  He says, quote, "There's five of them so that doesn't count.  Not that I care but I am definitely first!"

Premiere Ratings for Two New Shows and "The Simpsons" Halloween Special

 

 

The annual "Simpsons" Halloween special "The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror" attracted 7.8 viewers this year.  And over on cable, 2.9 million people tuned in to watch Snoop Dogg host the "The BET Hip Hop Awards".

 

 

Meanwhile,  the NBC sitcom "Marry Me" debuted with 7.5 million viewers . . . the second season of "About a Boy" returned with 5.8 million . . . and the series premiere of the CW's "Jane the Virgin" had a disappointing 1.6 million viewers.

 

 

As usual, "Sunday Night Football" won the week.  Here are last week's Top 10 primetime shows:

 

 

1.  "Sunday Night Football", NBC, 23.8 million viewers.

 

2.  "NCIS", CBS, 17.3 million viewers.

 

3.  "NCIS: New Orleans", CBS, 16.1 million viewers.

 

4.  "Thursday Night Football", CBS, 16.1 million viewers.

 

5.  "The Big Bang Theory", CBS, 15.3 million viewers.

 

6.  "The Walking Dead", AMC, 15.1 million viewers.

 

7.  "The OT", Fox, 13.8 million viewers.

 

8. Monday's episode of "The Voice", NBC, 13.3 million viewers.

 

9.  "Saturday Night Football", ABC, 13.3 million viewers.

 

10.  "Dancing with the Stars", ABC, 12.7 million viewers.

 

 

"Monday Night Football" was just outside the Top 10 with 12.7 million viewers.  And Tuesday's episode of "The Voice" was right below that with 12.3 million.

Wednesday TV Reminders:

 

 

• Game 2 of the "World Series" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on Fox.  The Kansas City Royals host the San Francisco Giants in Kansas City.  Game 3 will be in San Francisco on Friday.

 

 

• The fourth season premiere of "Web Therapy" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime.

 

 

• The second season premiere of "The 100" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

"The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Liam Neeson, Terry Gilliam, and Tim McGraw.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Craig Ferguson, Octavia Spencer, and James Ellroy.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Letterman" - Jason Bateman, Billy Eichner, and Ryan Adams.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Jimmy Kimmel" - Keanu Reeves, Mike Epps, and Milky Chance.

 

 

"Carson Daly" - Dennis Lehane, Cerebral Ballzy, and Annie Lederman.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Conan" - Kat Dennings, Wyatt Cenac, and Tenacious D.

 

 

"Craig Ferguson" - Jason Schwartzman, and Jacqueline Toboni.

 

 

"Jon Stewart" - Ben Steele.  (Repeat)

 

 

"The Colbert Report" - Jeffrey Tambor.  (Repeat)

Five Songs Musicians Should Probably Apologize For . . . Just Like James Blunt Did 

James Blunt recently admitted "You're Beautiful" is annoying.  And now, a list of "Other Songs Musicians Should Probably Apologize For" includes:  "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter . . . Nickelback's "How You Remind Me" . . . and "Achy Breaky Heart", by Billy Ray Cyrus.

1.  "Bad Day", Daniel Powter  (2005)

 

2.  "How You Remind Me", Nickelback  (2001)

 

3.  "Your Body Is a Wonderland", John Mayer  (2002)

 

4.  "Seven Nation Army", The White Stripes  (2003) . . . This one isn't really because the song is bad . . . but because of how sports fans have appropriated it, and used the guitar riff as a stadium chant.

 

5.  "Achy Breaky Heart", Billy Ray Cyrus  (1992)

Five Random Facts For Wednesday

1.  Larry King once got into a car accident with JFK.  When JFK was a senator, King crashed into his car . . . JFK told him it was fine and he wouldn't report it as long as King voted for him when he ran for president.

 

 

2.  It's only been 37 years since France executed a criminal with the GUILLOTINE.  They executed a convicted murderer by chopping off his head in 1977 . . . and abolished the death penalty in 1981.

 

 

3.  The biggest donut-eating country in the world is . . . Canada.  They eat more donuts per capita and have more donut shops per capita than any other country in the world.

 

 

4.  On April 18th, 1930, it was such a slow news day the BBC declared there was NO NEWS . . . and just played piano music instead of reporting anything.

 

 

5.  Some of the names Disney considered, but rejected, for the seven dwarves include Chesty, Tipsy, Jumpy, Dirty, Sleazy, and Awful.

 

 

Does the Season You Were Born in Affect Your Personality?

According to a new study, people born in spring or summer tend to be more positive . . . people born in fall are less likely to battle depression . . . and people born in winter are more likely to be irritable.

 

You Only Use Your Home Phone Eight Times a Month

According to a new survey, the average person who still has a landline only uses it eight times a month . . . 35% ignore it when it rings, because they know it's probably a telemarketer . . . and 28% don't even know their own PHONE NUMBER.

 

Three Ways To Be Funnier

If you never seem to get laughs when you're trying to be funny, try these three tips:  PRACTICE telling jokes . . . start with a common complaint, and follow it with an unexpected analogy . . . and make jokes at your own expense.

A 73-Year-Old Drama Teacher Was Fired . . . Because Her Students Found Out She Did Nude Scenes 40 Years Ago

A 73-year-old drama teacher in Montreal was fired recently . . . after one of her students found out she did NUDE scenes in a few French films 40 years ago.  According to her, they were tasteful and artsy.  But the school says it's changed the entire atmosphere in the classroom, and they had no choice.

Someone Posted a Craigslist Ad, Looking for "Cool Black Kids" to Hang Out with Their Son

 

Someone in New Orleans posted an ad on Craigslist over the weekend . . . looking for some, quote, "cool BLACK KIDS" to hang out with their son, so he'll stop getting bullied.  They also mentioned the kid doesn't know about the ad, and they're offering $15 an hour, plus expenses.

 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson is 39.  Mantastic Mitchell on "Modern Family".  He's gay in real life.  But Eric Stonestreet, who plays his husband Cameron, is STRAIGHT.  Or so he says.  (???)

 

 

Jeff Goldblum is 62.  He IS Brundlefly!

 

Saffron Burrows is 42.  Naughty British madam Lorraine on "Boston Legal" and Jeff Goldblum's partner, Serena Stevens, on "Law & Order: Criminal Intent".

 

 

Jonathan Lipnicki is 24.  Ray Boyd in "Jerry Maguire".  "D'you know the human head weighs eight pounds?"  Also Bow Wow's Caucasian friend in "Like Mike".

 

 

Zachary Hanson is 29.  The youngest Hanson.  This should make you feel old . . . he's MARRIED and has two KIDS, too.

 

 

Michael Fishman is 33.  Roseanne's son D.J. on "Roseanne".

 

 

Ichiro Suzuki is 41.  Fiesty Japanese baseball stud for the New York Yankees.

 

 

Shaggy is 46.

 

 

SHELBY LYNNE is 46.  The incredibly sexy, dirty and naughty country minx.

 

 

Carlos Mencia is 47.  Sadly, thanks to Greg Giraldo's death, Carlos has actually moved UP one place on the list of Top Latino Comedians.

BRIAN BOITANO! is 51.  The incredibly sexy, dirty and naughty figure skater!

 

 

Bob Odenkirk is 52.  Saul on "Breaking Bad" and the new spinoff called "Better Off Saul" that's coming soon.  He also wrote for "SNL" for almost a decade.

Mattress actress Sally Layd is 53.  She's starred in 168 fine films, including . . . "Witness for the Penetration", "Take this Wad and Shove It", AND "Rectal Rodeo".

 

 

Leslie West is 69.  One-legged guitarist for MOUNTAIN.  Lost one of his pins to diabetes, but he can still rock out on some "Mississippi Queen"!

 

(His latest album, "Still Climbing", is all the proof you need.  It rocks.  He still plays live, too.  He just doesn't move around as much as he used to.)

 

 

Christopher Lloyd is 76.  Doc Brown in "Back to the Future", Jim Ignatowski on "Taxi", AND the Klingon bastard who killed Kirk's son in "Star Trek 3:  The Search For Spock".

 

 

Annette Funicello would have been 72. (1942 - 2013)

 

 

"CURLY" HOWARD  (1903 - 1952)  The Three Stooges genius.  Moe and Shemp Howard were his brothers.

 

And contrary to popular belief, Shemp did NOT replace Curly.  Curly replaced Shemp!  Shemp was the original Third Stooge.  But when he left to do his own thing, before the Stooges were famous, Curly took his place.  Years later, when Curly suffered a stroke and had to retire, Shemp RETURNED to the Stooges.

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 9 days to Halloween

• 11 days to Daylight Saving Ends

• 29 days to the American Smoke Out

• 36 days to Thanksgiving Day

• 64 days to Christmas

• 821 days left of "Hope and Change"

178 years ago . . . In 1836, SAM HOUSTON was inaugurated as the first constitutionally elected PRESIDENT OF TEXAS.

 

 

76 years ago . . . In 1938, Chester Carlson patented his strange invention . . . the XEROX PHOTOCOPIER.  IBM, RCA, and Kodak all had no interest in his wacky gadget because they didn't think there was a use for a machine that "only" made copies.

 

He started manufacturing the device himself and made an estimated $100 MILLION.  Interesting Fact:  The name Xerox comes from "xerography" . . . meaning "dry writing".

 

 

52 years ago . . . In 1962, JOHN F. KENNEDY ordered a Naval quarantine of Cuba until FIDEL CASTRO removed Russian missiles from his country.  Russia finally backed down, thus ending the CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS.

 

 

48 years ago . . . In 1966, THE BEACH BOYS hit the charts with "Good Vibrations".  The single took six months and $50,000 to record . . . the most expensive song ever produced up to that time.

 

 

48 years ago . . . In 1966, "Georgy Girl", starring Lynn Redgrave and James Mason, became the first U.S. movie to earn a "MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY" rating.  The theme song was the monster jam "Georgy Girl", performed by THE SEEKERS.

 

 

38 years ago . . . In 1976, THE INCREDIBLE MOVIE "CAR WASH" WAS RELEASED.

 

 

35 years ago . . . In 1979, the U.S. government allowed the deposed SHAH OF IRAN to travel to New York for medical treatment.  The anger-ball Islamic fundamentalists who had overthrown him in the first place stormed the U.S. embassy . . . and started the IRAN HOSTAGE CRISIS.

 

 

11 years ago . . . In 2003, the world was SHOCKED when LIZA MINNELLI filed for divorce from her husband, DAVID GEST, a day after he sued her for spousal abuse.

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