Your daily dose of Whatever!!
A Kim Kardashian Selfie Reminds Us Why We Keep Her Around . . . And Kanye Approves
Every once in a while, we forget why the heck we even keep KIM KARDASHIAN around. Then she posts a selfie like THIS and it all becomes clear again.
KANYE WEST definitely approved. He posted a link to the picture on Twitter, along with the following message . . . quote, “HEADING HOME NOW.”
Watch Daniel Radcliffe Let a Woman Play the Bongos on His Butt
DANIEL RADCLIFFE got “played” recently on a British radio show. Literally.
One of the hosts, LISA SNOWDON, bent him over her knee and used his backside as a set of bongo drums. It’s apparently something they like to do with celebrities. They call it, “Bum Bum Bongos”.
(Check it out here. WARNING!!! Before the actual “music” begins, there’s a lot of sexual double entendre involving the word “banging”.)
Steve Jobs Didn’t Like to Finish During Sex . . . Because He Didn’t Want to Waste His Essence
A woman who dated Apple founder STEVE JOBS for five years in the 1970s says that Steve didn’t like to FINISH during sex . . . because he didn’t want to WASTE HIS ESSENCE. She says, quote, “For him [it] was about his conserving his energy for work.” Steve also got mad when he found out he’d fathered a child with the woman, because he felt she was, quote, “stealing his genes.”
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Got Married at the County Clerk’s Office
KRISTEN BELL and DAX SHEPARD got married yesterday . . . at the Beverly Hills County Clerk’s Office.
A source says they just went to the office to get a marriage license, but a court employee offered to marry them right on the spot . . . and they went for it.
Kristen and Dax got engaged in 2009, but they vowed not to get hitched until same-sex marriages were legal.
Someone Attacked “Transformers” Director Michael Bay . . . With an Air Conditioner?
Director MICHAEL BAY was attacked on the set of “Transformers 4″ in Hong Kong yesterday by a man wielding an AIR CONDITIONING UNIT. Bay was able to duck the air conditioner, then get it away from the guy. The attacker and two companions were then arrested.
19 Celebrities Who Don’t Drink
A list of 19 Celebrities Who Don’t Drink includes Jennifer Hudson, Blake Lively, Russell Brand, Kim Kardashian, and Eminem.
Jennifer Hudson . . . she says she’s NEVER had a drink.
Blake Lively . . . says she doesn’t drink or do drugs, but doesn’t say why.
Russell Brand . . . says he’s been clean for 11 years.
Edie Falco . . . sober for 21 years.
Kim Kardashian . . . says she doesn’t drink.
Christina Ricci . . . chose to stop drinking 15 years ago.
Matthew Perry . . . hasn’t had a drink since rehab in the late 90’s.
Kristin Davis . . . stopped drinking 25 years ago, because it was interfering with her acting career.
Kim Cattrall . . . says she doesn’t drink or take drugs.
Eminem . . . sober for several years, since battling addiction.
Jennifer Lopez . . . doesn’t drink, because it “ruins your skin.”
Ewan McGregor . . . says he doesn’t drink anymore, because it made him a “maniac.”
Colin Farrell . . . has been sober for seven years.
Kelly Osbourne . . . sober, after doing rehab a bunch of times.
Jada Pinkett Smith . . . sober for eight years, after she realized she was becoming addicted.
Gerard Butler . . . quit drinking 15 years ago.
Tyra Banks . . . says she only tasted alcohol once, when she was 12.
Bradley Cooper . . . stopped drinking nine years ago, after realizing he was partying too much and derailing his career.
Tobey Maguire . . . has been sober since he was 19.
Casey Kasem is in Bad Shape
The children of radio legend CASEY KASEM are trying to get control of his affairs away from his wife of 33 years, Jean Kasem. They recently filed a legal document saying Casey suffers from memory problems, hallucinations and impairment of his thinking and communication skills. Casey has advanced Parkinson’s disease.
Larry Flynt Doesn’t Want the Man Who Shot Him to Die . . . He Wants Him to Be Tortured
The man who shot and paralyzed LARRY FLYNT in 1978 is scheduled to die by lethal injection next month for murder, but Larry doesn’t want it to happen. He says the death penalty doesn’t work, and life in prison is a far worse punishment than, quote, “the quick release of a lethal injection.” He also says he’d like to torture and paralyze the guy himself.
Stallone and Schwarzenegger’s “Escape Plan”, the “Carrie” Remake, and the WikiLeaks Movie “Fifth Estate” Are in Theaters
Chloe Grace Moretz takes on the role of Carrie in this horror remake about a telekinetic girl who unleashes her power on her classmates at the senior prom. Julianne Moore plays her religiously fanatical mother.
It’s based on the book by Stephen King, which was turned into the 1976 classic with Sissy Spacek as Carrie, and John Travolta as the guy who poured pig’s blood on her.
Sylvester Stallone is a security expert who busts out of prisons for a living to test their security flaws. But when he’s betrayed by a client and locked in a top secret location, he has to rely on his new cellmate, Arnold Schwarzenegger, to help him escape.
Vincent D’Onofrio plays Sly’s business partner, 50 Cent and Amy Ryan from “The Office” are members of their security team, and Jim Caviezel from “Person of Interest” is the prison warden.
Benedict Cumberbatch plays WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, in a thriller about how he helped create the site for whistleblowers to anonymously leak information about corporate crimes . . . and eventually, covert military operations.
The real Julian Assange is currently hiding out as a political refugee, and was granted asylum by the Ecuadorian embassy in London.
Next Week’s Theatrical Releases, CDs, DVDs, and Games
CDs for Tuesday, October 22nd:
• “Prism”, Katy Perry
• “Aftershock”, Motorhead
• “Another Life”, Emphatic
• “Burials”, A.F.I.
• “Traces of You”, Anoushka Shankar . . . the sister of Norah Jones
• “Better Together”, a five-song EP by Fifth Harmony
• “The B*tch is Back”, a live album by Lita Ford
• “Lies I Told Myself”, Ty Herndon
• “Suffering from Success”, DJ Khaled
• “Kill the Prophet”, New York rapper Cage
DVDs for Tuesday, October 22nd:
• “The Internship” . . . starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.
• “The Conjuring” . . . starring Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson.
• “Death in Tombstone” . . . starring Danny Trejo and Mickey Rourke.
Games Out on Tuesday and NEXT Friday:
• “Batman: Arkham Origins” will be out NEXT Friday on the Xbox360, PS3, and WiiU.
• “LEGO: Marvel Super Heroes” is out on the Xbox360, PS3, and the WiiU on Tuesday.
• “Just Dance Kids 2014″ is out on the Xbox360 and both of the Wiis on Tuesday.
• “Rocksmith 2014″ is out on the Xbox360 and PS3 on Tuesday.
Theatrical Releases for NEXT Friday, October 25th:
• “The Counselor” . . . starring Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, and Brad Pitt.
• “Bad Grandpa” . . . with Johnny Knoxville doing pranks as an 86-year-old man.
“Glee” Will End After Next Season
“Glee” creator Ryan Murphy says the show will come to an end after NEXT season. He also said he’s had to change his original plan for the final season, because it was going to heavily involve CORY MONTEITH’S character, Finn. Obviously, Cory’s death makes that no longer a possibility.
Friday TV Reminders:
• “Hawaii Five-0″ . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. Rebecca De Mornay guest stars as the mother of a groom when a wedding crasher is murdered.
• “What Not To Wear” [Series Finale] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.
• “Comedy Bang! Bang!” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on IFC. “The Office’s” Rainn Wilson guests.
Saturday TV Reminders:
• “IndyCar Racing: IndyCar Series in Fontana” . . . 8:00 P.M. to Midnight Eastern on NBC Sports.
• “Sara Bareilles: Brave Enough – Live At the Variety Playhouse” . . . 9:00 to 0:00 P.M. Eastern on Palladia. Sara Bareilles performs “Brave”, “Love Song” and “Gravity” from her “The Brave Enough Tour”.
• “Austin City Limits” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. The Lumineers perform.
• “The White Queen” [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Starz.
• “Dancing On the Edge” [Mini-Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Starz. Chiwetel Ejiofor, Janet Montgomery, Jacqueline Bisset and John Goodman star in this five-part drama of a Black jazz band’s rise to stardom in the 1930s.
• “Saturday Night Live” . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. Tina Fey guest hosts and Arcade Fire is the musical guest. (REPEAT)
Sunday TV Reminders:
• “NASCAR Racing: Sprint Cup in Talladega” . . . 2:00 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN.
• “Sunday Night Football” . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on NBC. The Indianapolis Colts host the Denver Broncos at Lucas Oil Stadium.
• “Queer Eye Reunion: 10 Years Later” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo. Jai Rodriquez, Ted Allen, Carson Kressley, Thom Filicia, and Kyan Douglas team up for the first time since 2007.
• “Oprah’s Next Chapter” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. Arsenio Hall and John Edwards’ former mistress Rielle Hunter are guests.
• “Modern Dads” [1st Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on A&E.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Mattress actress Jenna Jameson guests.
• “The People’s Couch” [1st Season Finale] . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on Bravo.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Author John Grisham (“Sycamore Row”) and chef Robert Irvine.
• “Good Morning America” – Chef Emeril Lagasse offers healthy eating tips. Music Guest: Capital Cities.
• “CBS This Morning” – Author Brad Meltzer (“The Fifth Assassin”).
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Arnold Schwarzenegger (“Escape Plan”) and Barkhad Abdi (“Captain Phillips”).
• “The View” – Jim Caviezel (“Escape Plan”), Star Jones promotes her new fashion line, and comedian Mario Cantone. “The Secret Life of the American Teenager’s” Diane Farr co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Haylie Duff, “The Chew’s” Clinton Kelly for his book “Freakin’ Fabulous on a Budget”, and chef Daniel Boulud.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Alyson Hannigan (“How I Met Your Mother”), and “Dancing with the Stars” partners Karina Smirnoff and Corbin Bleu.
• “The Talk” – “Inside Edition’s” Deborah Norville and Arsenio Hall (“The Arsenio Hall Show”).
• “Katie Couric” – “Walking Dead” stars Andrew Lincoln, Norman Reedus, Danai Gurira, Lauren Cohan, and Steven Yeun. Plus: Dylan McDermott (CBS’ “Hostages”).
• “Steve Harvey” – Sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman and author Dr. John Duffy (“Jump-Starting Boys: Help Your Reluctant Learner Find Success in School and Life”) discuss normalcy in marriages.
• “Dr. Phil” – “Bitter and Twisted”. Two ex-spouses who are accusing each other of being a poor parent to their teenage son.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – “T-Boz and Chilli:Their Health Scare Revealed!” TLC band members T-Boz and Chilli discuss their story of triumph over tragedy.
• “Wendy Williams” – Chloe Grace Moretz (“Carrie”) and Kirk Fox (“The Test”).
• “Bethenny” – Iliza Shlesinger (“Paradise”),Keke Palmer ( VH1’s “Crazy, Sexy, Cool: The TLC Story”), Golnesa “G.G.” Gharachedaghi (“Shahs of Sunset”), and “Property Brothers'” Jonathan and Drew Scott.
• “Queen Latifah Show” – Thomas Gibson (“Criminal Minds”) and Kal Penn (“We Are Men”). Music Guest: Ben Folds.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Author Steve Young (“Everything’s Coming Up Profits: The Golden Age of Industrial Musicals”). Music Guest: White Denim.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Kanye West. (REPEAT)
• “The Tonight Show” – Olivia Munn and Vince Vaughn. Music Guest: Vintage Trouble. (REPEAT)
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Scarlett Johansson (“Don Jon”). Music Guests: Drake. (REPEAT)
• “Carson Daly” – Michelle Rodriguez (“Fast & Furious 6″) and Palestinian singer Hanni El Khatib. Music Guest: The Men. (REPEAT)
• “Arsenio” – Leah Remini (“Dancing with the Stars”), NeNe Leakes (“I Dream of NeNe”), Lil P-Nut (“Haunted Hathaways”) and comedian Gary “G. Thang” Johnson.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Rosie Perez (“The Counselor”) and comedian Nick Cobb.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Sofía Vergara (“Modern Family”). (REPEAT)
• “Bill Maher” – Director Oliver Stone is the interview guest. The panelists are Chris Matthews, Jim Glassman, and business expert Carol Roth. (REPEAT)
The Top 10 Most Popular Ways to Waste Time at Work
Do you find yourself constantly WASTING TIME at work? The most popular ways people waste time at work are socializing, web surfing, job hunting, and taking care of personal business . . . although we also waste time when we’re trying to do actual work because of things like long meetings.
Mathematical Proof That Bacon Makes Everything Better . . . and the Eight Biggest Food Fads Since 2007
There’s now MATHEMATICAL PROOF that bacon makes pretty much everything better. An analysis of the 50,000 recipes on the Food Network website found that when a recipe included bacon, they almost ALWAYS got higher ratings. The only exceptions were pasta and dessert.
Every State’s Signature Food, Ranked From Best to Worst
This is definitely going to rile some people up, but a website just ranked every state’s signature food from best to worst. Chicago-style deep dish pizza and shrimp and grits from South Carolina finished on top . . . Cincinnati chili and steamed cheeseburgers from Connecticut finished last.
2. Shrimp and grits from South Carolina.
3. The mission-style burrito from California . . . which is basically just an enormous burrito with extra rice and other ingredients.
4. Crab cakes from Maryland.
5. Peach cobbler from Georgia.
6. Gumbo from Louisiana.
7. Key Lime pie from Florida.
8. Fried green tomatoes from Alabama.
9. Green chile enchiladas from New Mexico.
10. Marionberry pie from Oregon. Apparently it’s like a blackberry pie.
On the other end of the list, Cincinnati chili from Ohio came in DEAD last. The rest of the ten WORST state foods are . . .
2. Steamed cheeseburgers from Connecticut.
3. Nevada . . . because they’re the only state with NO signature food.
4. Boiled dinner, New Hampshire. It’s sorta like corned beef and cabbage, but with other meats and vegetables too.
5. Akutaq, Alaska. (A-goo-duck) It’s a native dish made out of whipped fat, berries, and other optional ingredients . . . including meat, FISH, and roots. How is this not number one?
6. Hand-held meat pies, Nebraska.
7. Salt Water Taffy, New Jersey.
8. Lutefisk, North Dakota.
9. Green Jell-O with carrots, Utah.
10. Chislic, South Dakota . . . which is sorta like a kabob.
A Map of Our Favorite Beers by State Includes a Lot of Bud Light, a Lot of Blue Moon, and a Surprising Amount of Yuengling
: There’s a new map showing people’s favorite beers in each state. Blue Moon was the top pick in 18 states, Bud Light was top in 12 states, and both Sam Adams and Yuengling were the top in eight states. Coors Light and Corona won two states . . . and Miller Lite only won its home state, Wisconsin.
Salsa Now Outsells Ketchup, Tortillas Outsell Hot Dog Buns, and Tortilla Chips Outsell Potato Chips
Right now in the U.S., salsa outsells ketchup . . . tortillas outsell hamburger and hot dog buns . . . and tortilla chips outsell potato chips. Not all of these are new developments, but they all point to the larger trend . . . that Hispanic food is basically just becoming mainstream American food.
What’s the Lamest Cliché People Use to Make Someone Feel Better?
1. “It’s not your fault.”
2. “Everything happens for a reason.”
3. “When one door closes, another one opens.”
4. “Man up.”
5. “It’s God’s plan.”
6. “There are people who have it worse than you, think of all the people starving around the world.” Not only does this one NOT make anyone feel better, it makes them feel GUILTY . . . so now they feel WORSE about their problems.
7. “Things will get better.”
8. “It could be worse.” Which just makes someone think about the OTHER horrible things that might happen. (Reddit)
One in Four People Are Already Stressed Out About Christmas?
According to a new survey, 25% of Americans are already stressed out about paying for Christmas presents, which is more than any other country. But 56% of us expect to spend as much or MORE than we did last year, and 90% will do at least some of their shopping online.
The Top 15 Things That Make Parents Uncool
: A new survey just came up with the top things that make parents UNCOOL. The top five are: Not knowing the most popular current songs, not being able to work an iPhone, not knowing the WORDS to current songs, their fashion sense, and owning a sensible car.
1. Not knowing the top songs on the charts.
2. Not being able to work an iPhone.
3. Not knowing the words to current songs.
4. Your fashion sense.
5. Owning a sensible or practical car.
6. Not seeing the attraction of video games.
7. Not knowing what “twerking” is.
8. Not knowing what Spotify is.
9. Not letting your kids stay out late.
10. Making your kids wear embarrassing clothes to school.
11. Singing and dancing around the house.
12. Being a smoker.
13. Your hairstyle.
14. Wanting to go with your kids on nights out.
15. Not knowing who pop singers are.
Some of the other things that made the top 30 list are: Not letting your kids join Facebook . . . having a Facebook account . . . having a tattoo . . . and not having a tattoo. Lose-lose. (The Telegraph)
57% of Parents Check Their Kids’ Phones . . . and Not Always With Their Kids Knowing
Do you monitor your kids’ phones? In a new survey, 57% of parents say YES. 22% of parents do it with their children’s knowledge . . . 21% sometimes do it with their kids’ knowledge and sometimes do it secretly . . . and 14% always do it WITHOUT letting their kids know they’re doing it.
Some Pick-Up Artists Have Rated the Countries of the World by How Likely the Women There Are to Have Sex With You
If you can ignore the creepiness here, this is pretty interesting. A website by PICK-UP ARTISTS put together a map ranking the countries of the world by how likely the women there are to have sex with you. First-world countries like the U.S. finished in the middle . . . African and Caribbean countries are generally the best places for casual sex . . . Muslim countries are worst.
The Eight Strangest Requests Hotel Managers Have Heard This Year
Here are a few of the strangest requests hotel managers have heard this year. Does your pet policy include llamas? Can you do my son’s math homework? Can you stop the snow so I can get to the hotel? And can you transfer my room outside so my wife and I can have a night under the stars?
8. Do you offer a sleep sitting service? I need someone to watch over me because I tend to sleepwalk.
7. Can I borrow your ring? It’s my wedding tomorrow and the best man lost ours.
6. Which subway line do I take to the Eiffel Tower? The hotel was in England.
5. Does your pet policy include llamas?
4. Can you do my son’s math homework?
3. Can you stop the snow so I can get to the hotel?
2. Can you fill the bathtub with milk?
1. Can you transfer my room outside so my wife and I can have a night under the stars? (Daily Mirror)
Tyler Posey – 22 (MTV’s “Teen Wolf”.)
Bristol “The Pistol” Palin – 23 (If only her mom’s career were as FINISHED as hers is.)
Zac Efron – 26 (ALLEGED recovering cocaine addict who went from “High School Musical” to being peed on by Nicole Kidman in “The Paperboy”. That’s movin’ on up, people!)
Lindsey Vonn – 29 (Tiger’s latest . . . but probably not his last . . . white woman.)
Freida Pinto – 29 (Gorgeous “Slumdog Millionaire” and “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” minx who plays a stripper in the new Bruno Mars video “Gorilla”.)
Ne-Yo – 31
THE IMMORTAL ERIN MORAN – 53 (Joanie Cunningham on “Happy Days” AND “Joanie Loves Chachi” . . . where she played opposite SCOTT BAIO.)
Jean-Claude Van Damme – 53 (He was AWESOME in “The Expendables 2″ . . . even though Chuck Norris OWNED that flick.)
Martina Navratilova – 57 (Mantastic tennis minx.)
Chuck Lorre – 61 (Creator of “Two and a Half Men” who took the brunt of Charlie Sheen’s wrath a couple years ago. He also produces “The Big Bang Theory”, “Mike & Molly”, and the new Anna Faris sitcom “Mom”.)
Pam Dawber – 62 (Mindy on “Mork & Mindy”. “NCIS” superstar Mark Harmon nails her anytime he wants to.)
Mike Ditka – 74
Dawn Wells – 75 (Mary Ann on “Gilligan’s Island”. One of only THREE of the seven original castaways who are still with us. The other two are Tina “Ginger” Louise and Russell “The Professor” Johnson.)
Keith Jackson – 85 (One of the coolest and most distinctive sportscasters of all time.)
Chuck Berry – 87 (“Johnny B. Goode”)
Victor Sen Yung – (1915 – 1980) (He WAS Hop Sing, the cook on “Bonanza”.)
Jesse Helms – Would have been 92 – (1921 – 2008) (White-skinned, brown-toothed former Republican Senator from North Carolina.)
Peter Boyle – Would have been 78 – (1935 – 2006) (Wizard in “Taxi Driver”, the Monster in “Young Frankenstein” . . . and Frank Barone on “Everybody Loves Raymond”.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 13 days until Halloween
• 16 days until Daylight Savings Ends
• 21 days to “Thor: The Dark World”
• 41 days until Thanksgiving
• 68 days until Thanksgiving
• 1,190 days left of “Hope and Change”
115 years ago . . . in 1898 – The American flag was raised in PUERTO RICO. . . shortly before Spain formally relinquished control of the sexy island to the U.S.
46 years ago . . . in 1967 – Walt Disney’s “The Jungle Book” was released.
45 years ago . . . in 1968 – JOHN LENNON and “SUCCUBUS” YOKO ONO were busted for marijuana possession in London, after police found them with 219 GRAINS OF CANNABIS RESIN during a raid on John’s apartment. PASS ON GRASS.
44 years ago . . . in 1969 – JEFFERSON AIRPLANE guitarist PAUL KANTNER was charged with possessing the reefer after being arrested outside his home in Honolulu, Hawaii. PASS ON GRASS.
38 years ago . . . in 1975 – PAUL SIMON reunited with ART GARFUNKEL’S HAIR on “Saturday Night Live”. They played “My Little Town”, their first collaboration since they split up.
36 years ago . . . in 1977 – REGGIE JACKSON earned the nickname MR. OCTOBER after hitting three home runs in Game 6 of the World Series, and carrying the Yankees to another title.
27 years ago . . . in 1986 – FRANK and KATHIE LEE GIFFORD were married. Today is their 27th wedding anniversary. Frank’s going to celebrate by nailing himself an airline stewardess.
25 years ago . . . in 1988 – “Roseanne” debuted on ABC.
18 years ago . . . in 1995 – LINDA MCCARTNEY’S VEGGIE BURGERS were recalled in Britain after a study found that the fat content was 20-to-23% instead of the 11% listed on the package.
17 years ago . . . in 1996 – MADONNA’S newborn daughter LOURDES made the “Entertainment Weekly” list of the 101 MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE in entertainment. Almost. She was 101-point-five on the list. Madonna was #82.
Gillian Jacobs – 31 (Britta Perry on “Community”.)
Desmond Harrington – 37 (Joey Quinn on “Dexter”.)
Cyndi Thomson – 37 (Innocently sexy country minx.)
Joy Bryant – 39 (Jasmine Trussell on “Parenthood”.)
Pras – 41 (Former Fugee. Biggest hit: 1998’s “Ghetto Supastar”. Second biggest hit: Rock Bottom. APB on Pras. Somebody look under Ziggy Marley AND Ini Kamoze.)
Chris Kattan – 43 (“Corky Romano”. Now he’s a supporting cast member on that ABC comedy, “The Middle”.)
Trey Parker – 44 (Brilliant “South Park” co-creator who’s now conquered Broadway with “The Book of Mormon”. He was also the writer, director and star of the unjustly forgotten 1996 comedy, “Cannibal: The Musical”.)
Jon Favreau – 47 (Writer and star of “Swingers”. And if you missed his follow-up film, “Made”, RENT IT. It has a brilliant cameo by Screech . . . playing himself. Jon is now a delicious chubby, and he directed “Elf”, the first two “Iron Man” movies and “Cowboys & Aliens”. While Screech is a kinky porno slut.)
Ty Pennington – 49 (“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” stud who used to be the mantastic carpenter on “Trading Spaces” . . . when the show was still relevant.)
Evander Holyfield – 51
John Lithgow – 68 (He played the Trinity Killer on the Showtime series “Dexter”.)
Jeannie C. Riley – 68 (Singer of “Harper Valley P.T.A.”.)
Michael Gambon – 73 (He took over as Dumbledore in the “Harry Potter” movies after Richard Harris died. You used to think Richard was way better. But did you still feel the same after Snape killed Dumbledore?)
LUSCIOUS LAWANDA PAGE – (1920 – 2002) (Aunt Esther on “Sanford and Son”.)
Divine – (1945 – 1988) (Transvestite chubby who got to play Ricki Lake’s mom in the ORIGINAL “Hairspray”. That’s the role that John Travolta played in the movie version based on the Broadway musical that was based on the original film. You follow me?)
(In the 1972 John Waters flick “Pink Flamingos”, Divine . . . playing a woman, as usual . . . performs real, on-screen FELL-LAH-CHIO on an actor playing his son . . . and eats real dog excrement. He/She will truly be missed.)
Robert Reed – (1932 – 1992) (Mike Brady on “The Brady Bunch”. He died in Pasadena, California, from complications of AIDS.)
(In reality, he actually detested “The Brady Bunch”, and he was EMBARRASSED to be associated with it.)