Your daily dose of whatever includes:
- Bieber’s fate is now in the hands of the White House
- Women love men who drive pick up trucks
- More Super Bowl ads have arrived!
Genius or Dumb? Newcastle Has a New Ad Campaign With Anna Kendrick That’s All About How They Can’t Afford a Super Bowl Ad
Newcastle has launched an amusing campaign about the beer commercial they were going to make for the Super Bowl . . . before they realized they could NEVER afford it. It’s an elaborate joke. They even have a “behind-the-scenes” video with ANNA KENDRICK, who was going to star in the ad.
Budweiser Has Another “Cute” Super Bowl Ad This Year, This Time with a Puppy
Remember the Budweiser Super Bowl commercial from last year, where the horse is reunited with the trainer who raised it? Well, they’re going back to the “cute,” tearjerker well again this year . . . with a new ad featuring the same trainer, a Clydesdale . . . and a 10-week-old puppy, who befriends them.
(Here’s the ad, which as of last night has already scored over 11 MILLION VIEWS . . . in ONE DAY. Remember: This is an ADVERTISEMENT. Maybe Budweiser DOES know what they’re doing.)
More Super Bowl Ads That Have Just Hit the Internet
1. If commercials with animals are your bag, you may also like this Chevy Silverado Super Bowl commercial . . . about a young stud-bull giving some cows the eye while licking his chops.
Wait . . . There Are Still 18,000 Super Bowl Tickets Available?
There might not be a full stadium for the Super Bowl thanks to the cold weather. One report claims there are around 18,000 tickets remaining on the secondary market. In addition to the weather, another factor may be that the game is happening on the East Coast, and both of the teams are from the West.
Super Bowl Randoms: The Marijuana Billboard Wars, Fox’s Wind Tracker, and More
1. The two teams in the Super Bowl, Seattle and Denver, are from the two states that have legalized marijuana . . . so perhaps not surprisingly, there are all kinds of weed-related billboards going up in the vicinity of the Super Bowl in New Jersey.
And it ISN’T a one-sided affair . . . some anti-pot group announced that they’re putting up billboards, and so has a marijuana advocacy group.
2. Fox is going to be ALL OVER the weather situation during the Super Bowl. They’ve commissioned a software company to create technology that will track wind patterns during the game, and “superimpose graphics over live game play.”
It’s just as absurd and pointless as it sounds. (Check out this video demonstration.)
3. A company surveyed over 1,000 “online adults,” and asked them questions about how they’d be watching the Super Bowl. It’s pretty basic stuff, including the fact that 54.2% of men plan to watch the game . . . and 42.3% of women.
(You can browse through all the numbers, here. They didn’t define “online adults,” but we assume that just means it was conducted on the Internet.)
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. I have good news and I have BETTER news. The good news is that the uniforms for the U.S. Olympic women’s bobsled team are skin-tight. The BETTER news is that LOLO JONES is on the team. (Check out a picture and a Vine video here.)
2. MILEY CYRUS and MADONNA did some GRINDING during Miley’s “MTV Unplugged” special last night. (Check out a picture of them sticking their tongues out here. And grab some great clips at Delicious Audio.)
3. The guys from “Full House” were on “Good Morning America” yesterday to hype their Super Bowl commercial . . . and they were photobombed by RIHANNA.
4. Celebrities really ARE just like us. JACK NICHOLSON did DUCK FACE for a selfie with a hot blonde chick at a Laker game.
5. LEA MICHELE in stretchy pants looks good from all angles.
6. Remember the creepy twin girls from “The Shining”? They’re in their mid-40s now, and here’s what they look like.
Kim and Kanye Don’t Want Bruce Jenner in Their Wedding If He’s a Tranny
We have no idea if all those rumors about BRUCE JENNER surgically becoming a woman are true. But if they are, this is kind of harsh . . .
The “Star” tabloid claims KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST don’t want him in their wedding if he is indeed a woman . . . or in the process of becoming a woman . . . by the time they’re ready to get hitched.
It’s mostly Kanye though. A source says, quote, “He told Kim that if Bruce is not a guy on the day they tie the knot, he doesn’t want him to be part of the ceremony.”
(For the record, Bruce just had that surgery to shave down his Adam’s apple, and he did look kind of feminine leaving the clinic after it was over.)
Cameron Diaz on Taco Bell: “Just ‘Cause You Can Chew it and Swallow it and Poop it Out Doesn’t Mean It’s Food”
CAMERON DIAZ likes Taco Bell. But she doesn’t eat it because she CARES about her health.
She says, quote, “I saw a Taco Bell yesterday . . . it made my stomach scream. If I had nothing else to do, I would be, like, ‘Three bean-and-cheese burritos and give me some nachos with extra cheese sauce!’ I would so kill that [crap].
“But what I’ve learned is that just ’cause you can chew it and swallow it and poop it out doesn’t mean it’s food.” (Cameron just released a book called “The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body”.)
The White House Has to Respond to a Petition Asking for Justin Bieber to be Deported
A petition on the official White House website to deport JUSTIN BIEBER and revoke his green card gained over 100,000 signatures in under a week. Which means that the White House is supposed to review the petition and issue a response.
We all know that when the White House does respond, they’ll say something generic, like how this is an issue for the police and the courts. But it’ll still be fun to see exactly how they handle it.
Justin Bieber is Now Being Charged With Assault . . . But He Pleaded Not Guilty to DUI
: JUSTIN BIEBER was charged with ASSAULT yesterday, for allegedly attacking a limo driver in Toronto last month. Meanwhile, he has pleaded not guilty to DUI and the other charges against him in Miami.
A Definitive Ranking of 25 Classic Disney Villains
The “Huffington Post” put together A Definitive Ranking of 25 Classic Disney Villains . . . and coming in at #1 was Scar from “Lion King”. He was followed by Cruella de Vil from “101 Dalmatians” and Ursula from “The Little Mermaid”.
1. Scar from “The Lion King”
2. Cruella de Vil from “101 Dalmatians”
3. Ursula from “The Little Mermaid”
4. Chernabog, the demon from “Fantasia”
5. Lady Tremaine . . . a.k.a. The Wicked Stepmother from “Cinderella”
6. Jafar from “Aladdin”
7. Queen Grimhilde . . . a.k.a. The Evil Queen from “Snow White”
8. Gaston from “Beauty and the Beast”
9. Hades from “Hercules”
10. Claude Frollo from “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”
11. The Queen of Hearts from “Alice in Wonderland”
12. Maleficent from “Sleeping Beauty” . . . Maybe her standing will improve when we see Angelina Jolie’s portrayal of her in the new movie.
13. Shan-Yu from “Mulan”
14. Ratigan from “The Great Mouse Detective”
15. Captain Hook from “Peter Pan”
16. Governor Ratcliffe from “Pocahontas”
17. Shere Khan from “The Jungle Book”
18. Foulfellow and Gideon from “Pinocchio”
19. Madam Mim from “The Sword in the Stone”
20. The off-screen “man” from “Bambi”
21. Madame Medusa form “The Rescuers”
22. Si and Am, the Siamese cats from “Lady and the Tramp”
23. Prince John from “Robin Hood”
24. Clayton from “Tarzan”
25. Edgar Balthazar, the butler from “The Aristocrats”
Nine Shows That Got Better When Somebody Left
Sometimes a TV show gets BETTER when someone leaves it. According to one list, examples include Lisa Bonet leaving “A Different World”, Craig Kilborn leaving “The Daily Show” and Katherine Heigl leaving “Grey’s Anatomy”.
1. Lisa Bonet, “A Different World”. The show was originally a spin-off of “The Cosby Show” featuring Lisa’s character going off to college. But then Lenny Kravitz knocked her up in real life.
So she left, and eventually returned to “Cosby” after having the baby.
2. Paul Schneider, “Parks and Recreation”. When he left after Season Two, the show brought on both Rob Lowe and Adam Scott.
3. Craig Kilborn, “The Daily Show”. It’s hard to believe there was ever a host other than Jon Stewart, but Kilborn had it from 1996 to 1999.
4. Shelley Long, “Cheers”. It was Shelley’s choice to leave the show, and it turned out to be a bad choice for HER. But replacing her with Kirstie Alley and ending the Sam-and-Diane romance angle probably saved the show creatively.
5. George Clooney, “ER”. Clooney was the breakout star, but his departure in 1999 didn’t kill the show. In fact, “ER” survived a million other cast shakeups before it ended, without ever really losing what made it great.
6. Mischa Barton, “The O.C.” The show actually went downhill ratings-wise when Mischa left . . . but the fans who stayed generally agreed it got better.
7. Valerie Harper and Cloris Leachman, “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”. They both left for their own spin-offs, but that allowed more room for two of the show’s other female cast members, Betty White and Georgia Engel, to shine.
8. Denise Crosby, “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. Her character was kind of a mixed bag, and not really a favorite among fans. When she was killed off, characters like Worf and Geordi got a lot more screen time.
9. Katherine Heigl, “Grey’s Anatomy”. By the time Heigl left the show, her character had gotten pretty annoying . . . sort of like the public’s real-life perception of her. And no one was really sad to see her go.
The New Episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” Premieres Today, Featuring Tina Fey
The new episode of JERRY SEINFELD’S brilliant web series “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” premieres TODAY, featuring TINA FEY. Other recent episodes have featured Jay Leno, Patton Oswalt and Louis C.K.
Thursday TV Reminders:
• “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” . . . Jerry Seinfeld’s brilliant web series is now in its third season. The next episode, featuring Tina Fey, is available at Noon Eastern. Watch it out online at ComediansInCarsGettingCoffee.com or Crackle.com.
• “American Idol” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. Omaha auditions.
• “Parks and Recreation” . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. The farewell episode for Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe’s characters Ann and Chris.
• “White Collar” [5th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on USA.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Dr. Phil. Music Guest: Dum Dum Girls.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Alison Brie (“Community”) and Zac Efron (“That Awkward Moment”). Music Guest: Sara Bareilles.
• “The Tonight Show” – Miley Cyrus, Howie Mandel, and Sarah McLachlan.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Melissa McCarthy and David Crosby.
• “Carson Daly” – “New Girl” creator Liz Meriweather. Music Guest: K. Flay.
• “Arsenio” – “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and Lamorne Morris (“New Girl”).
• “Conan” – General Ray Odierno talks about reintegrating veterans into civilian life. Comedian Bill Burr is the other guest.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Max Greenfield (“New Girl”). Music Guest: ZZ Ward.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Vanessa Hudgens.
• “Jon Stewart” – Nancy Pelosi.
• “The Colbert Report” – Saints quarterback Drew Brees.
Kendrick Lamar Says Macklemore’s Grammy Was Well-Deserved
Earlier this week, MACKLEMORE apologized to KENDRICK LAMAR for winning Best Rap Album at the Grammys. Apparently, he felt he only beat Kendrick because he’s white.
But Kendrick isn’t sweating it. He says, quote, “It’s well deserved; he did what he did, man. He went out there and hustled and grinded. Everything happens for a reason; the universe comes back around, that’s how it go.”
A Grammy Producer Has Apologized to Trent Reznor for Cutting Off His Performance
TRENT REZNOR Tweeted an “[Eff] you” to the Grammys for cutting off his show-ending performance with Dave Grohl, Lindsey Buckingham and Queens of the Stone Age.
And yesterday, a Grammy producer responded, saying, quote, “I’m sorry he was upset. I was really thrilled that we were finally getting him on the Grammys.
“I did tell them we’d take it as long as we could. The number was about five, six minutes long, and we got to within a minute twenty of the end. We got as close as we could possibly get.”
Women Are Most Attracted to Men in Pickup Trucks . . . And Least Attracted to Men in Mail Trucks
According to a new survey, women are most attracted to men driving pickup trucks . . . and LEAST attracted to men driving MAIL trucks. Men are most attracted to women driving sports cars, and least attracted to women driving MINIVANS.
The Larger a Man’s Testes . . . the More Likely He’ll Get Cheated On?
You THINK your bulbous testes are enough to keep your wife or girlfriend interested. But a new study from the University of Oslo in Norway found an evolutionary connection between the size of a man’s gonads, and how likely he is to be CHEATED ON.
Basically, men develop larger testes if they’re in a population with a lot of men . . . because they need a better chance of impregnating their woman if she’s out there fornicating behind his back. (The Telegraph)
Photo of the Day Part 1: A Woman Sees Jesus in the Bruises on Her Foot
Your latest JESUS sighting comes from Albuquerque, New Mexico, where Jesus has taken a break from showing up in stains and pieces of toast to make his first documented appearance on . . . a BRUISED TOE.
Last weekend, a woman named Paula Osuna fell down some stairs and bruised her right foot. She rubbed some HOLY DIRT on it . . . dirt she’d collected on a pilgrimage to a holy spot in northern New Mexico.
And the next thing she knew, she saw JESUS in the bruise on her second toe. (CBS 13 – Albuquerque)
Photo of the Day Part 2: A Baby Inside the Amniotic Sac
In case you missed it, last June a doctor in Greece got a photo of a baby STILL INSIDE the amniotic sac, but AFTER it’d been removed from the mother’s body. Usually the sac breaks during birth. You know . . . when the ‘water breaks.’ (Check it out here.)
Five Percent of 18-to-24-Year-Olds Check Their Phone Once a Minute
According to a new survey, the average 18-to-24-year-old checks their phone once every 9 minutes and 50 seconds . . . and 5% average ONCE EVERY MINUTE. For 55-to-64-year-olds, it’s more like every 90 minutes. And overall, men check their phone every 22 minutes, compared to 26 minutes for women.
If Your Cell Phone Rings Once From an Unknown Number, Don’t Call Back . . . It’ll Cost You $30
If you get a call on your cell phone from an unknown number and it only rings once . . . don’t call back. Apparently it’s a new scam out of the Caribbean, and if you call back, you’ll get a charge of around $29 on your next cell phone bill.
Five Random Facts For Thursday
1. It’s illegal to own any debris from the Challenger explosion. If you get caught with some, you could get up to 10 years in prison.
2. The most expensive medicine in the world is called Glybera, and it treats a lipoprotein lipase deficiency that can cause pancreatitis. It costs $1.6 MILLION per treatment.
3. In 1759, ARTHUR GUINNESS signed a lease for a brewery in Dublin . . . a 9,000-year lease at $75-a-month. So Guinness will be in that brewery until the year 10,759 . . . when they can renegotiate.
4. CRAIG FERGUSON from “The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” was once in a moderately successful Scottish punk band called the Dreamboys. The band also featured Peter Capaldi, who’s the newest “Doctor Who”.
5. SALVADOR DALI wanted his art to be inspired by his dreams, so he’d sleep holding a spoon over a pan. When he fell asleep, he’d drop the spoon, and the clang on the pan would wake him up. Then he’d paint what he was dreaming about.
A Full Breakdown of Where It’s Legal to Marry Your Cousin
Here are a few laws about marrying your COUSIN in the U.S. It’s legal to marry your second cousin in all 50 states . . . there are NO restrictions on marrying your first cousin in 19 states . . . it’s a restriction in only a very obscure situation in North Carolina . . . and there are 26 states where it’s totally banned.
1. It’s legal to marry your second cousin in all 50 states.
2. There are NO restrictions on marrying your first cousin in 19 states: Alabama, Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Washington D.C., Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont, and Virginia.
3. North Carolina only has a ban on “double first cousins.” That means if a man has kids with a woman . . . and then his sister has kids with that woman’s BROTHER . . . the kids from those couples can’t get married as cousins.
4. You can marry a first cousin in Maine if you submit to genetic counseling and show your genes will blend okay and not produce something weird. In Minnesota, first cousin marriage is okay if it’s part of a Native American culture.
5. Arizona, Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin, and Utah ban first cousin marriages unless you meet age and fertility restrictions . . . in other words, you can marry your first cousin if they know you won’t have kids.
7. Louisiana, Mississippi, Oregon, and West Virginia are okay with adopted first cousins getting married, but not biological first cousins.
8. 21 states ban marriages between first cousins, but are okay with marriages between first cousins once removed: Arkansas, Delaware, Iowa, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, New Hampshire, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Nebraska, Oregon, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas, West Virginia, and Wyoming.
9. And finally, the five states with the strictest laws that ban marriages between first cousins and first cousins once removed are Kentucky, Nevada, Ohio, Washington, and Wisconsin.
Three Quick Hits on the Crazy Snow Situation: It Snowed in Hawaii . . . Snow Days Don’t Make Your Kid Dumb . . . and Chick-Fil-A Fed Stranded Drivers
1. It’s always important to look at the GOOD in people that comes out during emergencies.
In Birmingham, Alabama, a Chick-fil-A restaurant owner named Mark Meadows had his staff hand out free food to anyone stuck in the snow . . . which turned out to be around 280 sandwiches. He also let people sleep in the restaurant. (Fox News)
2. If your kid has gotten a LOT of snow days this year, it doesn’t mean they’ll be DUMBER. A new study has found that kids are better off getting a snow day, rather than the school staying open in bad weather.
Because if there’s bad weather, a lot of kids end up not going to school and miss out on class. Then the teachers have to re-cover the material when everyone’s back. So if school’s canceled, it actually wastes LESS time. (CBS 3 – Philadelphia)
3. The snow situation is so legit that parts of HAWAII are getting snow . . . up to six inches. (Hawaii News Now)
What Little Thing Have You Done That Made You Think, “Wow, I Am So Not Smart”?
Have you ever done something so stupid you thought, “Wow, I am SO not smart”? Our favorites are a guy who wanted to test his new cell phone voicemail, so he called from his home phone then answered the call . . . and a guy who kept a dog turd as a pet for two months because he thought it was a cocoon.
A Woman Is Suing Olive Garden For Making Her So Sick, She Had to Have a C-Section
Last January, a 34-year-old pregnant woman in Oregon ate at an Olive Garden and got horribly sick. When she went into labor a few days later, she was so sick the doctors had to perform a C-section . . . and she had wanted to do a natural birth. So now she’s SUING Olive Garden for $50,000 for negligence.
A Man Stabs and Kills a Friend Over Whether Poetry Is Better Than Prose
Last week, in Russia, a 53-year-old and his 67-year-old friend were having a highbrow literary debate. The older guy insisted that the only real literature is prose, but the 53-year-old argued in favor of poetry . . . then STABBED and KILLED the 67-year-old. He’s looking at up to 15 years in prison.
Kid Cudi – 30 (Rapper who cursed us all with “Day ‘n’ Nite”.)
WILMER VALDERRAMA! – 34 (Sexual predator who played Fez on “That ’70s Show”. He used to nail Mandy Moore, Lindsay Lohan and Demi Lovato ANYTIME HE WANTED TO! His secret was to snag ’em while they were young and impressionable, and didn’t realize that he really ISN’T a respected member of the Hollywood community.)
Josh Kelley – 34 (His singing career has already been completely overshadowed by his younger brother Charles Kelley, who sings for Lady Antebellum. Josh is married to Katherine Heigl . . . the hottest woman that no guy I know is attracted to.)
Andy Milonakis – 38 (That’s right. He’s 38. He looks 14.)
Christian Bale – 40 (BATMAN! And John Connor in “Terminator Salvation”.)
Brett Butler – 56 (Biggest hits: “Grace Under Fire” . . . and the CRACK PIPE!)
Phil Collins – 63 (Class act. Asked his ex-wife for a divorce VIA FAX. He’s also an expert on the Alamo, and believes he may have fought there in a previous life. Oh, and he has nerve damage that sometimes makes it difficult for him to wipe after he makes stinky.) (True.)
Charles S. Dutton – 63 (An ex-convict who served seven-and-a-half years in prison for fatally stabbing a man in a street fight. As a prisoner, he developed a passion for theater and sphincter.)
Marty Balin – 72 (Jefferson Airplane)
“Big” Dick Cheney – 73 (Heart attack machine.)
Vanessa Redgrave – 77 (She’s the mom of sexy “Nip/Tuck” minx Joely Richardson . . . AND Joely’s sister, the late Natasha Richardson.)
GENE HACKMAN – 84 (Did you know that he and Dustin Hoffman used to be ROOMMATES when they were starving actors back in the ’60s? But they never even did a movie together until 2003’s “Runaway Jury”.) (True!)
Dick Martin – (1922 – 2008) (“Rowan & Martin’s Laugh In”)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt – (1882 – 1945) (Elected President FOUR times! He had polio and used to nail his hot cousin Eleanor. He’s also the guy on all the dimes.)
Payne Stewart – (1957 – 1999) (Sharp-dressed golfer who died in a bizarre plane accident.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 1 day to the Year of the Horse
• 3 days until Super Bowl 48
• 8 days to the Winter Olympics
• 10 days to “The Walking Dead”
• 15 days to Valentine’s Day
• 1,086 days left of “Hope and Change”
81 years ago . . . in 1933 – THE LONE RANGER was heard on the radio for the first time. It ran for 2,956 episodes . . . and ended in 1955.
45 years ago . . . in 1969 – THE BEATLES made their last-ever public appearance as a group . . . performing on the roof of Apple Studios in London. The show was stopped when police arrived after neighbors complained about the noise.
43 years ago . . . in 1971 – The JANIS JOPLIN classic “Me and Bobby McGee” was released.
42 years ago . . . in 1972 – British soldiers in Northern Ireland killed 13 Catholic civil rights marchers on what became known as “Bloody Sunday”. U2 wrote “Sunday Bloody Sunday” about it.
37 years ago . . . in 1977 – “The Hardy Boys Mysteries”, starring hairless PARKER STEVENSON and hairless SHAUN CASSIDY as Franklin W. Dixon’s classic teen detectives, debuted on ABC.
32 years ago . . . in 1982 – The HALL & OATES CLASSIC “I Can’t Go For That” hit #1 on the pop AND R&B charts, one week after hitting #1 on the disco chart.
31 years ago . . . in 1983 – The WASHINGTON REDSKINS beat the MIAMI DOLPHINS, 27-to-17, at SUPER BOWL 17. Washington running back JOHN RIGGINS set a Super Bowl record with 166 yards on 38 carries, and was voted the game’s MVP.
23 years ago . . . in 1991 – The first major ground battle of the GULF WAR was fought at the frontier port of Khafji in Saudi Arabia. Eleven U.S. Marines were killed . . . seven of them by “friendly fire”.
20 years ago . . . in 1994 – The DALLAS COWBOYS beat the BUFFALO BILLS, 30-to-13, to win SUPER BOWL 28. Dallas running back EMMITT SMITH was MVP, and the Bills lost their fourth straight Super Bowl.
(This was also the game where Emmitt Smith had his HELMET STOLEN. It was returned to him a couple weeks later following an anonymous phone call.)
19 years ago . . . in 1995 – BOYZ II MEN won three awards at the 22nd annual American Music Awards. Reba McEntire, Michael Bolton and ACE OF BASE each received two awards!
14 years ago . . . in 2000 – The ST. LOUIS RAMS beat the TENNESSEE TITANS, 23-to-16, to win SUPER BOWL 34. St. Louis quarterback KURT WARNER passed for a record 414 yards and was named the MVP.
Eight years ago . . . in 2006 – the widow of the REV. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., CORETTA SCOTT KING, died at age 78.