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Whatever 1.29

Your daily dose of whatever includes:

  • Super Bowl FRENZY
  • Wedding ring drama
  • Good or Gross: Chocolate Toothpaste

Richard Sherman’s Dad Won’t Retire from Being a Garbage Man, Just Because His Son Is Making Some Money 

The father of Seattle cornerback RICHARD SHERMAN is a GARBAGE MAN in L.A.  And even though he doesn’t like his job, he has no desire to quit just to live off his son.  He says, quote, “Why would I mess up my own retirement?  Why should my son have to foot everything?”

In a new interview, Kevin explains, quote, “People say, ‘Let your son take care of you.’  Yeah, but I’ve got a few years left until I retire.  Why would I mess up my own retirement?  Why should my son have to foot everything?

Richard Sherman Was Asked About Strippers . . . Plus Some Other Dumb Questions from the Super Bowl’s Media Day 

Super Bowl “Media Day” is always a big circus with a bunch of stupid questions.  For example, Richard Sherman was asked how we should deal with young girls feeling like they need to be strippers . . . and Bronco Shaun Phillips was asked if he considered the Super Bowl a, quote, “must-win game.”

For example, some woman had this question for RICHARD SHERMAN, the Michael Crabtree-hating cornerback from the Seattle Seahawks:

 

 

Quote:  “As far as money is concerned, all you football guys is going into the strip clubs and throwing [money], raining down on these strippers . . . I think that’s a bad example for our young ladies.  How could we stop that? . . .

 

 

“Because I think it’s a bad example that we [are] setting for our young girls that they need to be strippers.  How do we deal with that issue?”  (???)

 

 

Amazingly, Richard entertained the question . . . and gave a totally P.C., vanilla answer, like you’d hear in a Miss America pageant.

 

 

He said that he doesn’t do the “make it rain” thing . . . and that we should empower young women.  (Here’s video.)

A GoDaddy Super Bowl Commercial Will Show a Real Woman Quitting Her Job Live on TV 

A GoDaddy Super Bowl ad will have a woman quitting her job LIVE on TV.  GoDaddy says, quote, “Her boss doesn’t know! . . . After the commercial, a formal resignation letter will be delivered, and she’ll give her two-week notice.”

There are no further details about this anonymous woman . . . but according to a teaser for the ad, quote, “She’s a real person with a real dream of starting her very own business.”  (Here’s video.)

GoDaddy’s other Super Bowl spot has already been released.  It shows Danica Patrick as one of many bodybuilders seeking a spray tan from a GoDaddy-using business owner.  (Here’s video.)

An Advance Look at Even More Super Bowl Commercials 

1.  In Jaguar’s newly-released ad, BEN KINGSLEY, MARK STRONG, and TOM HIDDLESTON join forces to explain why British people make better VILLAINS.

 

 

It starts with the line:  Quote, “Have you ever noticed how in Hollywood movies all the villains are played by Brits?  Maybe we just sound right . . . we’re more focused, more precise . . . [and] a stiff upper lip is key.”  (Here’s the video.)

 

 

 

2.  There’s an ad for Chobani Yogurt, where a bear ransacks a small town convenience store looking for the yogurt.  It’s sort of strange.  (Here’s video.)

3.  Volkswagen has a commercial with this concept:  Every time a Volkswagen vehicle hits 100,000 miles, a German engineer “gets his wings.” 

 

 

It shows wings sprouting from engineers’ backs . . . and some of the guys float around the factory like angels in lab coats.  (Here’s video.  The shot of the two engineers comparing the size of their wings while at the urinals is good.)

And Now, Some Software Says the Seahawks Will Win the Super Bowl 

“Madden NFL” may have predicted that the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl . . . but some computer software called the “Predictalator” thinks the Seahawks will take it.  Oh, and someone who played the game on “Tecmo Super Bowl” had the Broncos winning . . . in overtime . . . on a SAFETY.

Mike Ditka Says an Outdoor, Cold-Weather Super Bowl Is “Stupid” 

The NFL took a risk this year by having an outdoor, cold-weather Super Bowl . . . and former coach MIKE DITKA doesn’t like it.  He says, quote, “The weather’s going to be a problem.  They made a big mistake.  The game shouldn’t be there.  I mean, it’s stupid.”

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  IRELAND BALDWIN is posting sexy pics again . . . And we’re reaping all the benefits.

 

 

 

2.  Here’s KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN in a green bikini, if you’re into that sort of thing.

 

 

 

3.  AUDRINA PATRIDGE showed off some major side-boob at a post-Grammy party.

 

 

 

4.  JESSICA ALBA looks good bending over . . . even in jeans.

 

 

 

5.  Even though he ended up playing Loki, TOM HIDDLESTON originally tried out for the part of Thor.  Some of his audition footage will be an extra on the “Thor:  The Dark World” DVD. 

 

 

We have two animated GIFs of Tom THRUSTING HIS HAMMER . . . and in one of them, he’s shirtless.

 

 

 

6.  CARA DELEVINGNE and MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ held hands as they got IV drips together to take the edge off their hangovers.

And Now . . . Vin Diesel Dances For Seven and a Half Minutes on Facebook 

 

 

VIN DIESEL posted a video of himself on Facebook yesterday.  Dancing.  For seven and a half minutes.

 

 

In between grooving to KATY PERRY’S“Dark Horse” and BEYONCÉ’S“Drunk In Love”, he explained that he was in a dancing mood because he’d heard that “Riddick” topped the DVD sales chart, and another installment in the franchise was in the works.

 

 

(Check out the video here.

Watch Taylor Swift Get Kicked in the Face Repeatedly by the Guy from “Street Fighter” 

 

 

If you were as perplexed as the rest of the world by TAYLOR SWIFT’S bizarre headbanging during her Grammy performance . . . well, it all makes sense now.  Someone posted a great video on YouTube of Taylor’s performance . . . with a twist. 

 

 

Just before she starts jerking her neck, Ryu, one of the characters from the “Street Fighter” video games, drops onto her piano and starts KICKING HER IN THE FACE REPEATEDLY.  (Check it out here.)

The Blind Leading the Blind:  Billy Ray Cyrus Thinks He Knows How to Help Justin Bieber 

BILLY RAY CYRUS thinks he knows what JUSTIN BIEBER needs.  He says, quote, “I would just invite him to come down and chill out with me, maybe in Tennessee.  Let’s go up to the teepee, build a fire, step away and just, you know, maybe take a break for a little bit, just think about what’s important.  Get back to life . . . Build a fire, count the deer and the hawks and relax a little bit.”

Meanwhile, USHER and Justin’s manager returned to the U.S. from Panama . . . where they supposedly held an “intervention” for Justin.  But they refused to speak to the paparazzi.  (Here’s video.)

The Grammys Came in at #1 and the Pro Bowl was #7 in the Ratings

Sunday’s extremely long Grammy Awards presentation was the most-watched show of the week with 28.5 million viewers.  Here are last week’s Top 10 shows:

 

 

1.  “Grammy Awards”, CBS, 28.5 million viewers.

 

2.  “60 Minutes”, CBS, 14.3 million viewers.

 

3.  An “NCIS” repeat, CBS, 14.2 million viewers.

 

4.  Wednesday’s “American Idol”, Fox, 13.3 million viewers.

 

5.  A “Big Bang Theory” repeat, CBS, 12.9 million viewers.

 

6.  Thursday’s “American Idol”, Fox, 12.4 million viewers.

 

7.  “Pro-Bowl”, NBC, 11.4 million viewers.  Team Rice beat Team Sanders, 22-21.

 

8.  “NCIS: Los Angeles”, CBS, 10.4 million viewers.. 

 

9.  “Criminal Minds “, CBS, 10.4 million viewers

 

10.  A “Big Bang Theory” repeat, CBS, 9.9 million viewers.

Ellen DeGeneres is Producing a New Gay Sitcom 

ELLEN DEGENERES is producing a new gay-themed sitcom for NBC.  It’s about gay and straight best friends who decide to have a baby together . . . but things get complicated when one of them finds the love of their life.

It’s an interesting choice, since NBC HAD a gay-themed sitcom last season.  It was called “The New Normal”, and it was about a gay couple who recruit a woman to have a baby for them.  But they canceled it after just one season.

Wednesday TV Reminders:

 

 

“American Idol” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  The Salt Lake City auditions.

 

 

“The Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

 

 

“Miley Cyrus: MTV Unplugged” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on MTV.

 

 

“American Horror Story” [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on FX.

 

 

“My Strange Addiction” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TLC.  Tonight’s episode features a guy who spent over $100,000 on surgery to look like Justin Bieber.

 

 

“Wahlburgers” . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E.  Donnie brings Jenny McCarthy home to meet his mom, and his brother does a special burger in Jenny’s honor.

 

 

“Fleming: The Man Who Would Be Bond” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on BBC America.  Dominic Cooper stars in this miniseries about author Ian Fleming, a British naval intelligence officer who patterned James Bond after his own life.

 

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman” – Saints quarterback Drew Brees, the band Against Me! performs, and NBA commissioner David Stern reads the Top 10.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Andy Garcia and chef Norman Van Aken.  Music Guest:  Broken Bells.

 

 

“The Tonight Show”Bill Maher, Whitney Cummings, and Jennifer Nettles.

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon” Jennifer Connelly (“Winter’s Tale”), plus Miles Teller and Ronan Farrow (“That Awkward Moment”).  Music Guest:  Sheng Wang.

 

 

“Carson Daly”David Koechner (“Anchorman 2″).  Music Guest:  Chvrches.

 

 

“Arsenio”Paula Abdul, 49ers tight end Vernon Davis, and “Parenthood’s” Monica Potter.

 

 

“Conan”Don Cheadle (“House of Lies”).  Music Guest:  Hard Working Americans.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Kevin Bacon and Mexican actress Karla Souza. (Repeat)

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Emma Roberts.

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Johnny Knoxville.

 

 

“The Colbert Report” – NFL Hall of Famer Cris Carter.

Five Random Facts For Wednesday

1.  MARK TWAIN hated JANE AUSTEN’S “Pride and Prejudice” so much it made him want to PHYSICALLY HARM HER.  He said, quote, “Every time I read [it] I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin bone.”

 

 

2.  The average woman who wears lipstick will ingest about FOUR POUNDS of it over her lifetime.

 

 

3.  Your brain represents 2% of your body weight . . . and uses up to 20% of your body’s energy.  That’s more than any other organ.

 

 

4.  There are 20 U.S. states where it’s legal to marry your first cousin, and another six where it’s legal as long as you’re too old to have kids or at least one person is infertile.

 

 

5.  In the original version of “Aladdin”, which is part of Scheherazade’s “Arabian Nights”, Aladdin is set in CHINA and both Aladdin and Jasmine are Chinese.

 

 

(Mental Floss / Future Derm / Wikipedia / NCSL / Interesting Literature)

Do You Take Off Your Wedding Ring When You’re Going Out?

Do you take off your wedding ring when you’re going out?  One out of five married people say YES, sometimes they do.  The top reasons are:  They want more attention from the opposite sex, regardless of whether they’d actually act on it . . . their ring is uncomfortable . . . or they’re mad at their husband or wife and want to make a point.

1.  They want more attention from the opposite sex, regardless of whether they’d actually act on it.

2.  Their ring is uncomfortable.

3.  They’re MAD at their husband or wife, and want to make a point.

4.  They don’t want people to assume they’re BORING.

5.  They think it’ll help them make business connections easier.

Men are more likely to take their ring off than women . . . but women are more likely to do it after a fight.  (Daily Mail)

56% of People Already Know What They’re Getting For Valentine’s Day

According to a new survey, there’s a 56% chance your significant other already KNOWS what you’re giving them for Valentine’s Day.  Only 30% of people say they have no idea what you’ll get them for Valentine’s Day.

(PR Newswire)

A Woman Donated Her Kidney to Her Husband, But He Cheated on Her . . . So Now She Wants Her Kidney Back

In 2009, a woman in England donated her kidney to her husband to save his life.  Then, three years later, she says he CHEATED ON HER . . . so now she wants her kidney back.  He says he DIDN’T cheat . . . they split up because they were always fighting.

(UPI / Daily Mirror) 

 

What’s Something That Happens to You All the Time . . . But You Have No Idea If It Happens to Anyone Else?

What’s something that happens to you all the time . . . but you have no idea if it happens to anyone else?  Here are the best examples we’ve heard:  Walking in to a room, and completely forgetting why you went in there . . . spilling on yourself when you take a drink . . . and forgetting someone’s name two seconds after you meet them.

1.  Walking into a room and completely forgetting why you went in there.

 

 

2.  Spilling on yourself when you take a drink.  It’s fine if it happens to you a lot . . . plenty of people somehow still haven’t fully mastered drinking.

 

 

3.  Putting your hands under an automatic sink faucet in a public bathroom and no water comes out.  You’re not an invisible vampire, it just happens sometimes.

 

 

4.  Forgetting someone’s name two seconds after you meet them.

 

 

5.  Walking past a cop and thinking to yourself, “What if I grabbed his gun?”

 

 

6.  (CAREFUL!)  Examining toilet paper after you wipe, to figure out if you can fold it over and wipe again . . . or if you totally obliterated it and need to grab more. 

 

 

(Reddit)

If There’s a Charge For $9.84 on Your Credit Card Statement, Time to Panic

:  If there’s a charge for $9.84 on your credit card statement, you might just be a FRAUD VICTIM.  A giant network of scammers has been making small charges on tons of people’s credit cards . . . because they figure no one will notice such a small charge.  If you DO have a random $9.84 charge on your card, call your credit card company immediately.

(Huffington Post)

 

A 27-Year-Old Is More Likely to Be Living With Their Parents Than Roommates . . . And Five More Facts About Today’s Late 20s Americans

Here are a few findings about the average American 27-year-old from a massive study.  40% have spent time unemployed since 2009 . . . 10% say they’ve already fulfilled their career goals . . . and they’re more likely to be living with their PARENTS than with roommates or by themselves.

1.  40% have spent some time unemployed since 2009.

 

 

2.  When they were 25, they weren’t making huge money.  In 2011, only 21% were making over $40,000 . . . and more than half were making less than $25,000.

 

 

3.  About 60% of the kids who went to college in the 2000s took out student loans.  25% of them borrowed more than $25,000.

 

 

4.  College dropouts are almost three times more likely to be unemployed than college graduates.

 

 

5.  10% say they’ve already fulfilled their career goals.  And 57% say they’re in a job that’s a step toward their career goals.

 

 

6.  They’re more likely to be living with their PARENTS than roommates.  42% live with a spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend . . . 23% live with their parents . . . 19% live alone . . . and 10% live with roommates.  (The Atlantic)

Crest Is About to Start Selling Chocolate Toothpaste

Next month, Crest will be releasing CHOCOLATE TOOTHPASTE . . . for adults.  The flavor is called Mint Chocolate Trek . . . and later in the year, they’ll also be releasing lime and vanilla-flavored toothpastes.  As far as we know, the flavors are all totally artificial . . . they aren’t adding ACTUAL chocolate to toothpaste.

(Consumerist)

A Woman Wins $550,000 in the Lottery, Drinks Five Bottles of Champagne to Celebrate . . . And Decides to Flush the Money Down the Toilet

A 63-year-old woman in Germany recently won $550,000 in the lottery, and celebrated by drinking FIVE BOTTLES of champagne.  Then she opened her mail and got a bill from a nursing home where her husband had recently died.  So instead of paying it . . . she decided to flush the money down the TOILET.  It’s also possible she LIED about that, but the nursing home decided not to waste money investigating, and settled out of court.

 

(Metro.co.uk / UPI)

OPRAH WINFREY – 60  (No Oscar, no Golden Globe, no control over Lindsay Lohan.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen . . . back onto BAGS AND BAGS OF MONEY.  Let’s not pity her TOO much.)

 

 

Madelyn Marie – 27  (Brunette mattress actress who has starred in 113 fine films, including “Babe Runner”, “Tiger’s Got Wood”, and “Ghost [Effers]“.)

 

 

Athina Onassis Roussel – 29  (Granddaughter of Aristotle Onassis . . . and formerly the WORLD’S RICHEST TEENAGER.  She is worth “at least” $800 MILLION.  But she does NOT have a sex tape.  Yet.)

 

 

Isabel Lucas – 29  (The chick who was in the car with Shia LaBeouf when he crushed his hand in that car accident.  She played Alice, the Decepticon Pretender in “Transformers 2″, and she was also in the “Red Dawn” remake.)

 

 

Adam Lambert – 32  (Edgy . . . and by edgy, we mean “Good Charlotte middle school friendly edgy” not “Swedish death metal edgy” . . . runner-up from “American Idol” season eight.)

 

 

JONNY LANG – 33  (White on the outside.  Pure blues on the inside.)

 

 

Justin Hartley – 37  (“Smallville’s” version of Green Arrow.  Now he’s playing a deliciously gay character on “Revenge”.  Trust me, your wife loves him.)

 

 

Sara Gilbert – 39  (Oddly sexy Darlene on “Roseanne” who’s now the creator and co-host of “The Talk”.  She “loves the ladies”, ya know.  She’s currently scissoring pop producer Linda Perry, the former lead singer in 4 Non Blondes.)

Heather Graham – 44  (Felicity Shagwell in “Austin Powers:  The Spy Who Shagged Me”.  Roller-Girl in “Boogie Nights”.  AND the stripper Ed Helms gives his grandmother’s Holocaust ring to in “The Hangover”.  Ed Burns AND James Woods used to nail her.  Not at the same time.  At least, probably not.)

 

 

Paul Ryan – 44  (Mitt Romney’s vice presidential candidate.  He hung onto his side job as a Congressman for Wisconsin and was actually reelected in November . . . at the same time as Romney lost.)

 

 

Edward Burns – 46  (“Sidewalks of New York”, “15 Minutes” and “Saving Private Ryan”.  He used to nail Heather Graham.  Now he’s married to emphysema-plagued supermodel Christy Turlington.)

 

 

Greg LouGAYNESS! (Louganis) – 54  (Delicious, but tainted, Olympic gold-medal diver.)

 

 

Judy Norton-Taylor – 56  (Minx Mary Ellen Walton Willard on “The Waltons”!)

 

 

Irlene Mandrell – 58  (Barbara’s air-head sister.)

 

 

Tommy Ramone – 62  (Ramones’ drummer on the first three albums.  Real name:  Thomas Erdelyi.  He and his successor behind the drum kit, Marky Ramone, are still alive.  Meanwhile, the Ramones’ singer, guitarist and bass player are all dead.)

 

(Marking what is perhaps first time in rock and roll history that everyone else in a band died too young while THE DRUMMERS LIVED!)

Ann Jillian – 64

Marc Singer – 66  (“The BeastMaster”!)

Tom Selleck – 69

 

 

Katharine Ross – 74  (Elaine Robinson in “The Graduate”, the star of the original “Stepford Wives” and Jake Gyllenhaal’s shrink in “Donnie Darko”.)

 

 

John Forsythe – Would have been 96 – (1918 – 2010)  (The voice of Charlie on the “Charlie’s Angels”.  He was also Blake Carrington on “Dynasty”.)

 

 

W.C. Fields – (1880 – 1946)  (Real name:  William Claude Dukenfield.  Classic quote:  “I believe in tying the marriage knot . . . as long as it’s around the woman’s neck.”)

 

 

Moses Cleaveland – (1754 – 1806)  (Founder of Cleveland, Ohio.  But when the city was named, they spelled his last name wrong:  The correct spelling would be C-l-e-A-v-e-l-a-n-d.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 2 days to the Year of the Horse

• 4 days until Super Bowl 48

• 9 days to the Winter Olympics

• 11 days to “The Walking Dead”

• 16 days to Valentine’s Day

• 1,087 days left of “Hope and Change”

169 years ago . . . in 1845 – EDGAR ALLEN POE’S classic poem “The Raven” was first published.

 

 

78 years ago . . . in 1936 – The first five players were elected to the BASEBALL HALL OF FAME.  In order of the number of votes they received, they were:  Ty Cobb . . . Babe Ruth . . . Honus Wagner . . . Christy Mathewson . . . and Walter Johnson.

 

 

63 years ago . . . in 1951 – Future chubby ELIZABETH TAYLOR divorced her first husband, Conrad Hilton Jr.  (Yes, he was one of THOSE Hiltons.)

 

 

56 years ago . . . in 1958 – PAUL NEWMAN and JOANNE WOODWARD were married.  If Paul were still alive, today would have been their 56TH ANNIVERSARY.  He died in September of 2008.

 

 

55 years ago . . . in 1959 - WALT DISNEY’S “Sleeping Beauty” was released.

 

 

37 years ago . . . in 1977“Chico & The Man” star FREDDIE PRINZE shot and killed himself.  He was only 22.  And due to the lack of his guidance, his poor son made TWO “Scooby-Doo” movies.  (???)

 

 

37 years ago . . . in 1977 – The ROSE ROYCE smash “Car Wash”, the theme to the hilarious 1976 comedy of the same name, hit #1 on the pop singles chart!

 

 

35 years ago . . . in 1979 - BRENDA SPENCER, a San Diego teenager, shot and killed two people at her school.  When asked why she did it, she said, quote, “I don’t like Mondays”.  (Thus inspiring the BOOMTOWN RATS hit of the same name.)

 

35 years ago . . . in 1979 – Tragedy struck . . . when EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER disbanded!!!  (They got back together in the early ’90s, and have been doing stuff on-and-off ever since.)

 

 

34 years ago . . . in 1980 – Well-shnauzed superstar JIMMY DURANTE died of pneumonia at age 86.

 

 

31 years ago . . . in 1983“SEXUAL HEALING” by MARVIN GAYE peaked at #3 on the singles chart.

 

 

21 years ago . . . in 1993PRESIDENT CLINTON enacted the “DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL” policy, which allowed horny gays and lesbians to serve in the military . . . as long as they were discreet about their naughty behavior!  It was repealed in September of 2011.

 

 

19 years ago . . . in 1995 – The SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS beat the SAN DIEGO CHARGERS, 49-26, in SUPER BOWL 29 . . . making the 49ers the first team to win FIVE Super Bowls.

 

 

(San Francisco quarterback STEVE YOUNG threw for SIX touchdowns, breaking JOE MONTANA’S record, and earning himself MVP.)

 

18 years ago . . . in 1996 – At the 23rd annual American Music Awards hosted by comedy geniuses Jeff Foxworthy and Sinbad, GARTH BROOKS was a triple winner.

 

When he was named Favorite Artist of the Year, Garth politely LEFT THE TROPHY ON THE PODIUM, saying the other nominees deserved the award more . . . especially HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH!

 

 

12 years ago . . . in 2002 - NOELLE BUSH, crack-head daughter of Florida Governor JEB BUSH, and crack-head niece of then-President George W. Bush, was arrested for FELONY prescription fraud.

 

She’d tried to buy Xanax (an anti-depressant) with a bogus prescription.

 

 

Eight years ago . . . in 2006 - ABC “World News Tonight” co-anchor BOB WOODRUFF and his cameraman were seriously injured when their convoy was hit by an explosive device in Taji, Iraq.

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