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Whatever 1.24

Your daily dose of whatever includes:

  • All the Bieber arrest news you’ll ever need (or want)
  • Your random Friday facts
  • Deodorant for your underboob!?

Justin Bieber Was Released on $2,500 Bail, and Waved to His Fans Like a Beauty Queen While Leaving Jail 

JUSTIN BIEBER was released from jail yesterday, after being charged with DUI, resisting arrest, and driving on an expired license.  He posted a “standard” bail of $2,500 . . . and while he was leaving, he sat on top of a vehicle and waved to his fans, like a beauty queen or something. 

TMZ has video from the bail hearing.  Justin tried to look “tough,” but didn’t say anything to the judge.  He left all the talking to his attorney, Roy Black.

While leaving jail, Justin sat on top of a vehicle . . . and waved to his fans like a beauty queen or something.  Clearly, this kid doesn’t seem to regret the example he’s setting for his fans, a lot of whom are his age and YOUNGER.

Justin Bieber’s Parents Are Enabling His Behavior, and Contributed to the Circumstances of His Arrest 

It sure sounds like JUSTIN BIEBER’S parents are enabling his behavior.  Justin reportedly told the police that he didn’t know what prescription medicine he’d taken . . . he just takes whatever his mom gives him.  Meanwhile, his dad was supposedly at the club with him just before his arrest, and was in one of the SUVs that helped block traffic so he could drag race.

Justin allegedly admitted to cops that he drank some alcohol, smoked some dope, and took some prescription medication at some point on Wednesday night.

 

 

TMZ says he told them that his mom, Pattie Mallette, gave him the prescription medication he took . . . and that it was an anti-anxiety drug, like Xanax, but that he didn’t know what it was, because he just takes whatever she gives him.

 

 

It’s unclear if Justin has a prescription for whatever he was taking.  If he DOES . . . even if his mom handles it . . . he’s probably in the clear on that.  If he DOESN’T . . . that’s illegal, and he could be in even more trouble.

 

 

Meanwhile, Justin’s dad, Jeremy Bieber, was actually with him all day.  So, it’s reasonable to assume that he helped facilitate Justin’s many STUPID decisions.

Justin Bieber’s Smiling Mugshot . . . Plus, Celebrities Are Mocking Him on Twitter 

JUSTIN BIEBER offered up a nice big smile for his mugshot . . . however, he may not be laughing once he sees some of the shots he’s taking on Twitter from other celebrities.  SETH ROGEN’S was maybe the harshest.  He said, quote, “All jokes aside, Justin Bieber is a piece of [crap].” 

Seth Rogen:  “All jokes aside, Justin Bieber is a piece of [crap].”  He actually said the S-word.

“Supernatural” star Jared Padalecki:  “Just saw the mugshot . . . I gotta admit, she’s kinda hot without all of her usual makeup on.”

Jason Biggs:  “50 in a 30.  Jesus, Bieber even drag races like a [P-word].”  He actually said a word that rhymes with “wussy.”

Zach Braff:  “I’m nervous for Justin’s anus in jail. #FreeBieber.”

Mario Lopez:  “Justin Bieber mugshot . . . he MUST be high . . . he thought he was at a Teen Beat photo shoot.”

Actor Adam Rose:  “Shhh.  I think this is the part where Justin Bieber shaves his head.”

Michael Ian Black:  “Doesn’t Hollywood have any original ideas?  I’ve seen this Bieber movie so many times.”

Josh Groban:  “‘I sentence you to free credibility . . . in the world you are actively trying to gain credibility in.’ — judge to Bieber.”

Lisa Rinna:  “Baby, Baby, Baby, NO!!!!!!  Like Baby, Baby, Baby, say it isn’t SOOOOO!!!!!!”

Keyshawn Johnson . . . the former NFL player who moved out of Justin’s neighborhood after complaining about what a nuisance he is, and how he’s always speeding down their street:  “They finally caught HIM! . . .

The Youth of America Say It’s Not Justin’s Fault 

Some of JUSTIN BIEBER’S fans think he’s the VICTIM in this . . . and are Tweeting things like:  Quote, “People drink and drive all the time, and you never hear about it . . . but the only reason that it’s such a big deal now is because it’s Justin Bieber.”  And, quote, “Justin was arrested??  He didn’t do anything.”

@StylishBill:  “He’s just drunk . . . I mean why have him in handcuffs?  This is so stupid.  It’s only because this is ‘Justin Bieber’ and they want him to fall.”

@chey_says_hey:  “But everyone’s blaming Justin.  It’s not his fault, it’s society and the media’s fault.”

@TWLSJANOSKIANS:  “People drink and drive all the time, and you never hear about it.  The only reason that it’s such a big deal now is because it’s Justin Bieber.”

@hisbelieber_98:  “Justin was arrested??  He didn’t do anything . . .”

@missbieberabi:  “It’s not Justin’s fault!!  He had his childhood lost!!  And he’s just making up for it maybe in the wrong way, but just leave him alone!!”

@SagLikeBieber:  “Jesus, it’s not our fault Justin was on anti-depressants.  It’s not even his fault.  Some people are born with a serotonin deficiency.  Me?”

Bieber Arrest Randoms:  The Latest Justin Memes, Photos of the Model He Was With, Create Your Bieber Buddy Name, and More 

 

 

1.  Buzzfeed.com has some amusing .GIFs that show JUSTIN BIEBER’S face in his mugshot morphing into MILEY CYRUS.  It actually works.

 

 

 

2.  Naturally, it only took a few hours for the Justin Bieber arrest memes and Photoshop jokes to start circulating through the Internet.  EOnline.com has a gallery of some of them.

3.  Justin’s passenger at the time of the arrest was some model and party girl named CHANTEL JEFFRIES.  She’s dated other celebrities, including:  Diddy’s son Justin Combs, Philadelphia Eagles receiver DeSean Jackson, and even Justin’s buddy Lil Twist. 

 

 

As far we know, she isn’t dating Justin . . . they were just partying together.  (You can find photos and more information on this girl, here, here and here.)

4.  JUSTIN BIEBER’S buddies all have ridiculous nicknames.  Now, there’s a “Name Generator” you can use to feel like a member of his posse, without having to act like a teenage meat-head.  (My Bieber posse name is:  “Big B”.)

5.  RadarOnline is reporting that Justin went down to South Beach after getting bailed out of the clink . . . to get DRINKS with his “cool dad.”  Unbelievable.

 

 

 

6.  RadarOnline is also claiming that Justin was “giggling like a teenage girl,” while he was locked up. 

7.  Justin hasn’t lost any of his endorsements yet.  Adidas released a statement saying, quote, “Nothing is changing in our relationship with Mr. Bieber at this time.”

 

 

 

8.  A radio station in Canada has announced that they won’t play any more of Justin’s music until he, quote, “gets the help that he clearly needs.”

 

 

 

9.  Oh, how they “grow up.” Wanna guess what SELENA GOMEZ was doing around the time Justin Bieber was getting bailed out of jail?  Well, she was being photographed purchasing CLOVE CIGARETTES.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People  

 

 

1.  The outfits U.S. athletes will be wearing during the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games look like ugly Christmas sweaters.  They were designed by Ralph Lauren, and pretty much the entire Internet hates them.

 

 

 

2.  The upcoming issue of “New York Times” magazine has a ridiculous picture of HILLARY CLINTON as a PLANET.  (Scroll down for some of the memes that have already popped up.)

 

 

 

3.  RIHANNA and her friend.  In bikinis.  I couldn’t help myself.

 

 

 

4.  SEAN PENN went to the grocery store with CHARLIZE THERON and her son.  While they were loading the car, she grabbed his ass.

 

 

 

5.  Two kids later, KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN can still wear a bikini.

 

 

 

6.  (NC-17)  British minx KELLY BROOK wore a see-through shirt and no bra.

 

 

 

7.  And JON HAMM’S bulge is back.

14 Interesting Celebrity Connections 

A list of interesting celebrity connections includes these:  Jennifer Aniston and Chaz (slash) Chastity Bono were high school friends . . . Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister . . . and Drew Barrymore’s godparents are Steven Spielberg and Sophia Loren.

Jennifer Aniston and Chaz Bono were classmates and friends at New York City’s High School of the Performing Arts.  Of course, Chaz was A GIRL NAMED CHASTITY at the time.

 

 

Katie Lowes from “Scandal” was a nanny for “Nashville” star Connie Britton.

 

 

Jenny McCarthy and Melissa McCarthy are cousins.

 

 

Robert Pattinson went to high school with Tom Sturridge . . . who starred with Robert’s girlfriend Kristen Stewart in “On the Road”.

 

 

Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts went to high school together in Australia.

 

 

Sofia Coppola, Nicolas Cage and Jason Schwartzman are all cousins.  Talia Shire from the “Rocky” movies is both Jason’s mom and Francis Ford Coppola’s sister.  And Francis is Sofia’s dad.

Rip Torn and Sissy Spacek are first cousins.

 

 

Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

 

 

Drew Barrymore’s godparents are Steven Spielberg and Sophia Loren.

 

 

B.J. Novak and John Krasinski from “The Office” went to high school together in Massachusetts.

 

 

Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones were roommates at Harvard.

 

 

Dustin Hoffman and Gene Hackman were roomies back when they were trying to make it.  Hoffman also roomed with Robert Duvall.

 

 

Adam Sandler and Judd Apatow met as young comics in Hollywood, and eventually moved in together.

 

 

In the mid-1980s, Frances McDormand, Holly Hunter, the Coen Brothers and Sam Raimi shared a house in the Bronx.

 

“I, Frankenstein” and “Gimme Shelter” Are in Theaters

 

 

1.  I, Frankenstein  (PG-13)  Trailer and Official Site

 

Aaron Eckhart plays Frankenstein’s monster, who’s still around 200 years later and now calls himself Adam.  It’s based on a graphic novel about a demon who wants to use Adam to figure out how to raise an army of reanimated corpses for demons to possess.

 

 

Bill Nighy from the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies plays that demon, Yvonne Strahovski from “Dexter” is a doctor tricked into helping him, and Miranda Otto leads an army of gargoyles sworn to protect humanity from the demonic horde.

 

 

(Check out a few pages from the comic . . . I mean graphic novel . . . here.)

 

2.  Gimme Shelter  (PG-13)  Trailer and Official Site  (Limited)

 

Vanessa Hudgens is a pregnant teenager who runs away from her drug-addicted mom and ends up on the streets.  Brendan Fraser plays her father, Rosario Dawson is her abusive mom, and James Earl Jones is one of the people who try to help her.

 

 

3.  Knights of Badassdom  (R)  UNCENSORED Trailer and Offical Site  (Limited)

 

Peter Dinklage from “Game of Thrones”, Summer Glau, Steve Zahn, and “True Blood’s” Ryan Kwanten star in this long-delayed horror comedy as medieval role players who accidentally conjure up a succubus from Hell.  (Theater Locations)

 

 

4.  Enemies Closer  (R)  Trailer  (Limited)

 

Tom Everett Scott and Orlando Jones play two enemies who are forced to work together to survive in the forest when they’re hunted by Jean Claude Van Damme . . . a psychotic drug lord looking for his lost shipment.

Upcoming Netflix, CD, DVD, Games, and Theatrical Releases

 

 

Theatrical Releases for Next Friday:

 

“Labor Day” . . . starring Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin.

“That Awkward Moment” . . . starring Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller.

 

 

New or Coming Soon to Netflix Instant Streaming:

 

“Mitt” . . . a documentary about Mitt Romney’s run for President.  (January 24th)

“The Croods” with Nicolas Cage, Emma Stone and Ryan Reynolds.  (January 29th)

 

 

DVDs for Tuesday:

 

“Bad Grandpa” stars Johnny Knoxville as his 86-year-old character Irving Zisman

“The Fifth Estate” . . . starring Benedict Cumberbatch as the guy behind Wikileaks.

“Last Vegas” . . . Robert DeNiro, Michael Douglas, Kevin Kline, Morgan Freeman.

“Metallica: Through the Never” . . . starring Dane DeHaan as a roadie for Metallica.

“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2″ with the voices of Bill Hader and Anna Faris.

 

 

Games for Tuesday:

 

“Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition” brings the game to the Xbox One and PS4 consoles.  A “Game of the Year Edition” for the Xbox360 and PS3 will also be released that same day . . . and both versions will include all the previously released DLC.

 

 

CDs for Tuesday, January 28th:

 

“Croz”, David Crosby’s first solo album in 20 years.

“Red Dragon Cartel”, the debut album from Red Dragon Cartel

“Into the Lime”, the debut album from The New Mendicants

“Goodnight Tender”, a country album from Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls

“Only Me”, country singer Rhonda Vincent

“Too True”, Dum Dum Girls

“Maui Tears”, Sleepy Sun

“Bachelor” Couple Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici Can’t Wait to “Consummate” Their Marriage  

Former “Bachelor” SEAN LOWE and his chosen one, CATHERINE GIUDICI, will get married on Sunday, and they’re looking forward to their first HORIZONTAL PLAYTIME.  Catherine says, quote, “We made a really good decision for us, and we’re excited to consummate as husband and wife.”

Here’s our shortlist for shows airing this weekend on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

 

 

“Dracula” [1st Season Finale] . . . Friday from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. 

 

 

 

 

“Black Sails” [Series Premiere] . . . Saturday from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Starz.  This “Treasure Island” prequel stars Toby Stephens as Captain Flint and Luke Arnold as Flint’s newest crew member John Silver . . . better known to you as Long John Silver.

 

 

“SNL Presents: Sports All Stars” . . . Saturday from 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.  A compilation of some of “Saturday Night Live’s” best sports-themed sketches.

 

 

“Saturday Night Live” . . . Saturday at 11:30 P.M. on NBC.  Jonah Hill and Bastille.

 

 

 

 

“The Grammy Awards” . . . Sunday from 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.  LL Cool J hosts the 56th annual Grammys with performers Katy Perry, Metallica, Lorde, Daft Punk, Pink, Pharrell, Imagine Dragons, Blake Shelton, and Robin Thicke.

 

 

“The Bachelor: Sean and Catherine’s Wedding” . . . Sunday from 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.  Sean Lowe marries Catherine Giudici.  The guests include current bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis and some of the former “Bachelor” contestants.

 

“2014 Pro Bowl” . . . Sunday from 7:30 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.  Deion Sanders and Jerry Rice made their draft picks earlier this week.  Check out the final team rosters here by clicking on Team Sanders and Team Rice.

 

 

“Sherlock” . . . Sunday from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on PBS.  The second episode from the third season of “Sherlock” airs as part of “Masterpiece Mystery!” with Benedict Cumberbatch struggling to fulfill his best man duties for Watson’s wedding day.

 

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman”Kevin Bacon (“The Following”) and comedian Pat McGann.  Music Guest:  Devon Avenue.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Meryl Streep and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  Music Guest: Jonny Lang.

 

 

“The Tonight Show”Terry Bradshaw and Darius Rucker.

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon”Mitt Romney and rapper Schoolboy Q.

 

 

“Carson Daly”“Spoils of Babylon” creator Matt Piedmont, and comedian Matthew Broussard.  Music Guest:  White Denim.

 

 

“Arsenio”Chuck D, Luther Campbell, Sugarhill Gang, and Spinderella.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Christina Ricci and author Ian Rankin talks about his latest novel, “Saints of the Shadow Bible”.

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Heather Graham.  (REPEAT)

 

 

Five Random Facts For Friday

1.  After a CURLING match, the winners are required to take the losers out for a round of drinks.  Even at the Olympics.  It’s in the official rulebook.

 

 

2.  “Old person smell” is real.  There’s a chemical called 2-nonenal that’s created by other chemicals in the body breaking down over time.  Old people secrete 2-nonenal which produces their smell.

 

 

3.  The word “mob” comes from the Latin “mobile vulgus.”  That SOUNDS like something sexual . . . but really means “fickle crowd.”

 

 

4.  In the comics, Batman carried a chunk of KRYPTONITE on his utility belt at all times . . . just in case Superman ever turns evil.

 

 

5.  If you die in Amsterdam and you don’t have any family or next of kin, a poet will write a poem about you and recite it at your funeral.

 

 

(Forbes / Mental Floss / Wikipedia / TV Tropes / Lonely Funeral Amsterdam)

People Having Affairs Costs Companies $17 Million a Day in Wasted Time

According to a new study, people having affairs costs companies around the world $17 million a day in lost productivity . . . that’s well over $4 billion a year.  The average cheater spends about an hour and 15 minutes of work time on their affair every day.

(International Business Times)

The Ten Best Jobs When It Comes to Salary, Job Security, and Future Prospects

According to an annual list from “U.S. News & World Report”, this year’s best jobs when it comes to salary, job security, and future prospects are software developer, computer systems analyst, dentist, nurse, and pharmacist.

1.  Software Developer

 

2.  Computer Systems Analyst

 

3.  Dentist

 

4.  Nurse Practitioner

 

5.  Pharmacist

 

6.  Registered Nurse

 

7.  Physical Therapist

 

8.  Doctor

 

9.  Web Developer

 

10.  Dental Hygienist 

 

 

(U.S. News & World Report)

If You Became a Billionaire, What’s the First Simple Thing You’d Buy?

:  If you became a billionaire overnight, what’s the first SIMPLE thing you’d buy?  A few of the best ones we’ve heard are a round of drinks for everyone at a bar . . . a whole family bucket of KFC just to eat the skins . . . and new socks every day forever.

1.  “I’d go to a bar and buy everyone a round of drinks.  I’ve always wanted to be the guy who gets to say, ‘A round of drinks for everyone!’”

 

 

2.  “I’d finally buy a giant trampoline.  Maybe two giant trampolines.”

 

 

3.  “I’d buy a whole family bucket of KFC and just eat the skins.”

 

 

4.  “I’d buy new socks . . . every day for the rest of my life.”

 

 

5.  “I’d finally buy the first Nintendo.  As a kid, all my friends had it but my parents wouldn’t get me one.  I just had to watch my friends play.  I’d finally get one.”

 

 

6.  “I’d finally send my laundry out instead of doing it myself.”  (Reddit)

There’s a Billionaire Who Offered $65 Million to Any Guy Who Could Lure His Lesbian Daughter Away From Her Wife . . . and He Just Upped It to $120 Million

Back in September of 2012, a BILLIONAIRE real estate developer in Hong Kong offered $65 MILLION to any man who could lure his lesbian daughter away from her wife.  Everyone clearly failed . . . because he just upped the offer to $120 million.

(Gawker / The Star)

 

An Opera Singer Is Suing a Hospital Because a Botched Surgery Gave Her “Excessive Flatulence” and Ruined Her Career

:  In February of 2012, a 33-year-old woman gave birth at an Army base hospital in Kentucky.  And the nurse performed a procedure that involved cutting her perineum to help the baby come out . . . but it was BOTCHED.  And since then, the woman has had NONSTOP flatulence . . . which has apparently ruined her career as an OPERA SINGER.  So she just filed a $2.5 million lawsuit.

(Military Times / Daily Mail) 

A Farm Worker Is Awarded $4 Million For “Skinned Genitals”

About five years ago, a man was injured in a farming accident in Alabama when his pants got caught in a drill that yanked them off . . . AND yanked the SKIN right off his GENITALS.  He sued over his, quote, “skinned genitals” and argued the farming company hadn’t created a safe working environment.  A jury agreed . . . and just awarded him $4 million.

(Huntsville Times)  

You’re Half as Likely to Die in a Car Crash in a Blizzard Than in Nice Weather

Believe it or not, you’re HALF as likely to die in a car crash during a blizzard as you are during a car crash in nice, sunny weather.  The two main reasons are that when it snows people SLOW DOWN and drive more carefully . . . and fewer people are out driving.

(NBC News)

There’s a Special Deodorant Designed Just for Underboob Sweat and Guys’ Crotches

Unless you’re content to stink, you put deodorant under your arms every day.  But that’s not the only place on your body that gets all sweaty.

There’s a company called Fresh Body that sells deodorants specifically designed for those places . . . they make deodorant for your feet, your TESTES, and your UNDERBOOB REGION.

They’re more expensive than regular deodorants, starting around $9 . . . but if you struggle with those areas being sweaty, maybe they’re worth it?  (Jezebel)

Within 20 Years, Half of Couples Will Meet Online

Right now, around one in three couples meet on the Internet . . . so it turns out this whole Internet dating thing isn’t a fad.

According to a new study by eHarmony, within 20 years, about HALF of couples will meet online.  By 2040, it will be up to 70%.  (Daily Mail)

 

Mischa Barton – 28  (Skinny.  Loves the reefer.  JUST LOVES IT.)

 

 

TATYANA ALI – 35  (Nubian minx who played Ashley Banks on “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”.  The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice, baby!)

 

 

Ed Helms – 40  (Former correspondent on “The Daily Show”, Andy on “The Office”, and, of course, Stu the dentist in the “Hangover” movies.  Although we don’t have to talk about the second or third ones if you don’t want to.)

 

 

Matthew Lillard – 44  (Shaggy in the “Scooby-Doo” movies.  But I’ll always remember him as Stu . . . one-half of the psychotic serial killing team in the original “Scream” flick.)  (Oops, did I give something away?  GET OVER IT.  The movie’s over 15 freakin’ years old.  Netflix it, already.)

 

 

MARY LOU RETTON! – 46  (“AMERICA’S LITTLE BIG STAR”!  She won the Gold . . . she won our hearts . . . and it’s true, she’ll make a brighter day . . . for you and me . . .)

 

 

Dalny – 46  (Mattress actress who’s starred in 116 fine films, including . . . “Analtown USA”, “Dr. Freckle and Mr. Jive”, “Old Enough to Be My Mom”, “White House Interns” AND “My Ass”!)

 

 

Nastassja Kinski – 53  (“Cat People” minx who likes her love interracially taboo.  Quincy Jones used to nail her.)

 

 

YAKOV SMIRNOFF! – 63  (Russian genius.  “What a Country!”  In Soviet Russia, day births you!)

 

 

Aaron Neville – 73  (Giant Nubian who sings like an angelic Caucasian eunuch.)

NEIL DIAMOND! – 73  (SUPERSTAR OF SUPERSTARS and a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s Class of 2011 . . . along with ALICE COOPER!)  (His biggest smashes are, of course, “Sweet Caroline”, “Holly Holly”, “Cracklin’ Rosie” and his smooth duet with Barbra Streisand, “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”.)

Ray Stevens – 75  (“The Streak” . . . and “Ahab the Arab”!)

 

 

ERNEST BORGNINE! – Would have been 97 – (1917 – 2012)  (“McHale’s Navy”, “The Poseidon Adventure”, “Escape from New York” . . . AND . . . co-star with the Great Jan-Michael Vincent on “Airwolf”!)

 

 

Warren Zevon – (1947 – 2003)  (Singer-songwriter best known for “Werewolves of London”!   Warren hadn’t gone to the doctor in over 20 years.  By the time they found his lung cancer, it was too late.  As he told David Letterman, his fear of doctors was, quote, “one of those phobias that didn’t pay off.”)

 

 

John Belushi – (1949 – 1982)  (Jim Belushi’s less-talented brother.  He died of a speed-ball overdose in Hollywood at the age of 33.  IDIOT.)

Oral Roberts – Would have been 96 (1918 – 2009)  (Phony evangelist.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 2 days to the Grammys

• 7 days to the Year of the Horse

• 9 days until Super Bowl 48

• 14 days to the Winter Olympics

• 21 days to Valentine’s Day

• 1,092 days left of “Hope and Change”

 

106 years ago . . . in 1908 – The FIRST BOY SCOUT TROOP was organized . . . in England, by Sir Robert Baden-Powell, a general in the British Army.

 

 

79 years ago . . . in 1935 – “Kruger Cream Ale,” brewed by KRUGER BREWING COMPANY becomes the first beer sold in a can.

 

 

92 years ago . . . in 1922 – Genius Christian K. Nelson of Onawa, Iowa, patented the ESKIMO PIE!

 

 

54 years ago . . . in 1960 – JOHNNY PRESTON GOT A #1 HIT WITH “RUNNING BEAR”!

 

 

50 years ago . . . in 1964 – The first “SPORTS ILLUSTRATED” SWIMSUIT ISSUE was published.  (Some model named Babette March was featured on the cover.)

 

 

44 years ago . . . in 1970 – It was announced that JOHN LENNON and “SUCCUBUS” YOKO ONO had shaved their heads to commemorate the start of Year One for Peace.

 

 

39 years ago . . . in 1975 – LARRY FINE (of THE THREE STOOGES) died of a stroke at the age of 75.

 

 

32 years ago . . . in 1982 – The SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS beat the CINCINNATI BENGALS, 26-21, in SUPER BOWL 16.  It was the 49ers’ first Super Bowl win.  JOE MONTANA was voted the game’s MVP.

 

 

30 years ago . . . in 1984 – A London judge fined LINDA MCCARTNEY $140 for trying to smuggle CANNABIS into England.

30 years ago . . . in 1984 – Apple Computers unveiled the MACINTOSH personal computer.  To the best of our knowledge, no one was wearing a black turtleneck when the announcement was made.

25 years ago . . . in 1989 – TED BUNDY FRIED IN THE FLORIDA ELECTRIC CHAIR.

 

 

22 years ago . . . in 1992 – The jealous producer of the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK masterpiece, “Hangin’ Tough”, claimed that the beautiful boys (except for Danny . . . he was quite fugly) only sang about 20% of the lyrics!

 

(He sued our New Kids for a few million bucks for creative contributions and royalties.  However, the gorgeous group (except for Danny . . . he was quite fugly) kept HANGIN’ TOUGH.)

 

(They denied the allegations . . . and the suit was eventually dropped.  JUSTICE WAS SERVED!  See . . . The System DOES Work!  WELL, IT DOES.)

 

 

18 years ago . . . in 1996 – The FDA approved OLESTRA . . . the first zero-calorie artificial fat . . . even though one of the admitted potential side effects was, quote, “anal leakage”.

 

 

13 years ago . . . in 2001 – HALLE BERRY married her second husband, SEX ADDICT ERIC BENET.  When their divorce was finalized, thanks to an iron-clad pre-nup, he got NOTHING.

 

 

Eight years ago . . . in 2006 - CHRIS PENN, the chubby brother of SEAN PENN, was found DEAD in a condo near the beach in Santa Monica, California, at the age of 40.  (His death was ruled accidental by the coroner’s office.  He suffered from an enlarged heart.)

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