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Whatever 1.20

Your daily dose of whatever includes:

  • All your Superbowl drama!
  • Madonna under fire for “N” word use
  • Which decade was the most fashionable?

The Broncos and the Seahawks are Going to the Super Bowl 

The Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks will face off in Super Bowl 48 on Sunday, February 2nd at Metlife Stadium in New Jersey.  The Broncos won the AFC Championship by knocking off the New England Patriots 26 to 16.  And the Seahawks captured the NFC title with a 23 to 17 win over the San Francisco 49ers.

On paper, this game sounds like a CLASSIC.  The Broncos have the #1 offense in the NFL, and the Seahawks have the #1 defense.  Both teams were the #1 seeds in their respective conferences.

 

 

The Broncos won the AFC Championship by knocking off the New England Patriots 26 to 16.  And the Seahawks captured the NFC title with a 23 to 17 win over the San Francisco 49ers.

After the win, Fox Sports minx ERIN ANDREWS tried to interview DICK Sherman, who proved to be one of the BIGGEST A-HOLES IN THE GAME.

He yelled, quote, “I’m the best corner in the game!  When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that’s the result you gon’ get!  Don’t you ever talk about me!”

 

 

Erin, who was STUNNED by this nonsense, asked DICK who was talking about him.  He said, quote, “Crabtree.  Don’t you open your mouth about the best.  Or I’mma shut it for you real quick!” 

Laura Linney Just Had a Baby . . . At 49 

Actress LAURA LINNEY from “Mystic River” and “The Big C” gave birth to a baby boy last Wednesday.  He’s the first child for Laura and her husband Marc Schauer.  They named him Bennett Armistead Schauer.

 

 

Laura is 49 FREAKIN’ YEARS OLD.  Her rep says, quote, “Mother and baby are happy and healthy.”

Jennifer Lawrence Discusses her “Armpit Vagina” 

 

 

When women wear strapless dresses . . . especially women with a little more going on in the chestal region . . . some of that breast meat gets smooshed back to the underarm area.

 

 

And now, thanks to JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the “Screen Actors Guild Awards” this weekend, there is a name for that collection of skin.

 

 

It’s an ARMPIT VAGINA. 

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST posted a picture of themselves in front of the Palace of Versailles in Paris.  Does that mean they’re getting married there this summer?

 

 

 

2.  Check out pictures of the Best Actor and Actress Oscar nominees when they were younger.

 

 

 

3.  And now . . . STEVEN TYLER rides a three-wheel motorcycle.

 

 

 

4.  Here are more shirtless pictures of HARRY STYLES than you could possibly need.

 

 

 

5.  GWEN STEFANI and GAVIN ROSSDALE are having a boy.  It’ll be their third son.  Gwen announced it by posting a picture of herself on Instagram wearing a crown . . . meaning that she’s still the QUEEN in her house.

Madonna Called Her Son the N-Word . . . as a “Term of Endearment”? 

MADONNA posted a photo of her 13-year-old son Rocco on Instagram.  In the caption, she playfully called him the N-word.  When Madonna came to her senses, she apologized:  Quote, “I’m sorry if I offended anyone . . . it was used as a term of endearment toward my son, who’s white.”  (???)

Later, Madonna came to her senses and released an apology saying, quote, “I’m sorry if I offended anyone . . . it was not meant as a racial slur.  I’m not a racist. 

 

 

“There’s no way to defend the use of the word.  It was all about intention.  It was used as a term of endearment toward my son, who’s white.  I appreciate that it’s a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression.”

Celebrities and Their Alternate Talents 

A lot of celebrities have talents other than those that made them famous.  For instance, Harrison Ford is a helicopter pilot, Colin Farrell was a country line dancer for CMT, Matthew Perry could have been a tennis pro and Justin Bieber can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under two minutes.

Bruce Willis is a harmonica player.  He even released two blues-rock albums in the late ’80s.

 

 

Nick Offerman is a skilled woodworker and even owns his own shop.

 

 

Christina Hendricks can play the accordion.

 

 

Conan O’brien can tap dance.

Chris Colfer from “Glee” knows how to handle a Japanese sai sword.

 

 

Emma Roberts can impersonate a crying baby.  (???)

 

 

Jason Lee was a pro skateboarder before becoming an actor.

 

 

Mike Tyson has been racing pigeons since he was 9.

 

 

Susan Sarandon took up ping pong several years ago, and even owns her own ping pong club called SPiN in New York City.

 

 

Bob Barker learned martial arts from CHUCK-FRICKIN’-NORRIS.

 

 

Taylor Lautner is also into karate.  In fact, he earned several junior world championships as a kid.

 

 

Amanda Seyfried is an expert knitter, as are Meryl Streep and David Arquette.

 

 

Patrick Dempsey juggles and races cars.

Kristen Stewart can also juggle.  (I’m guessing her specialty is FOUR BALLS AT A TIME?)

 

 

Viggo Mortensen is a painter.

 

 

Neil Patrick Harris is a legit magician.

 

 

Jennifer Garner can play the saxophone.

 

 

Steve Martin and Ed Helms are both banjo players.  Steve recently collaborated with the bluegrass band Steep Canyon Rangers, and Ed has his own bluegrass group called The Lonesome Trio.

 

 

Vanilla Ice was a dirt bike champion when he was younger.

 

 

Geena Davis is so good with a bow and arrow that she ALMOST made the 2000 Olympic team.

 

 

Matthew Perry could have potentially gone pro in tennis.

 

 

Pierce Brosnan is a trained fire-eater.

 

 

Ed O’Neill from “Modern Family” has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

 

 

Justin Bieber can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under two minutes.

Oliver Stone Dropped Out of a Martin Luther King Jr. Movie Because They Wouldn’t Let Him Deal with Adultery and Other Tough Topics 

OLIVER STONE was supposed to write and direct a movie about MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., but he QUIT because the producers wouldn’t let him deal with, quote, “issues of adultery, conflicts within the movement, and King’s spiritual transformation into a higher, more radical being.”

“Ride Along” Had the Best January Opening Ever

The ICE CUBE-KEVIN HART comedy “Ride Along” had a big weekend at the box office, making $41.2 million in its first three days of release.  That’s the best January opening EVER, surpassing “Cloverfield” which made $40 million in 2008.

1.  (NEW)  “Ride Along”, $41.2 million.

 

2.  “Lone Survivor”, $23.2 million.  Up to $74.1 million in its 4th week.

 

3.  (NEW)  “The Nut Job”, $20.6 million.

 

4.  (NEW)  “Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit”, $17.2 million.

 

5.  “Frozen”, $12 million.  Up to $333 million in its 9th week.

 

6.  “American Hustle”, $10.6 million.  Up to $116 million in its 6th week.

 

7.  (NEW)  “Devil’s Due”, $8.5 million.

 

8.  “August: Osage County”, $7.6 million.  Up to $18.2 million in its 4th week.

 

9.  “The Wolf of Wall Street”, $7.5 million.  Up to $90.3 million in its 4th week.

 

10.  “Saving Mr. Banks”, $4.1 million.  Up to $75.4 million in its 6th week.

Was Matthew McConaughey High at the “SAG Awards”? 

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY’S acceptance speech at the “Screen Actors Guild Awards” went to some weird places, including him talking about taking a spaceship to Neptune and escaping from Russia on a handmade boat.

10 Critically-Despised Movies That Were Nominated for Oscars  

Moviefone.com has created a list of 10 Critically-Despised Movies That Were Nominated for Oscars.  It includes “Norbit”, “The Village” and “Con Air” . . . plus “Dick Tracy”, which was actually nominated in SEVEN categories and won THREE of them.

1.  “Norbit” . . . It was nominated for Best Makeup in 2008, but didn’t win.

2.  “The Black Dahlia” . . . It was nominated for Best Cinematography in 2007, but didn’t come away with the statue.

3.  “The Village” . . . It was nominated for Best Original Score in 2005, but didn’t win.

4.  “Con Air” . . . It was nominated for Best Sound and Best Original Song in 1998, but didn’t win either.

5.  “Batman Forever” . . . It was nominated for THREE awards in 1996:  Best Cinematography, Best Sound and Best Sound Editing.  But it didn’t win anything.

6.  “Toys” . . . It was nominated for Best Art Direction and Best Costume Design in 1993, but didn’t win either.

7.  “Dick Tracy” . . . It was nominated for SEVEN Oscars in 1991, and won THREE of them.  It won Best Art Direction, Best Makeup and Best Original Song . . . and lost Best Supporting Actor (Al Pacino), Best Cinematography, Best Costume Design and Best Sound.

8.  “Heaven’s Gate” . . . It was nominated for Best Art Direction in 1982, but lost.

9.  “1941″ . . . It was nominated for three Academy Awards in 1980:  Best Sound Mixing, Best Cinematography and Best Visual Effects . . . but it didn’t win anything.

10.  “Bugsy Malone” . . . It scored one Oscar nomination in 1977 . . . for the now-defunct Best Original Song Score category . . . but it didn’t win.

Ellen DeGeneres Is America’s Favorite TV Personality Again This Year 

For the second year in a row, ELLEN DEGENERES has topped a Harris Interactive poll on America’s Favorite TV Personalities.  Also for the second year in a row, “NCIS” star MARK HARMON followed at #2.

1.  Ellen DeGeneres.  She was also #1 last year.

2.  Mark Harmon.  He was also #2 last year.

3.  Jon Stewart.  He was also #3 last year.

4.  “Big Bang Theory” star Jim Parsons.  He’s up from being #5 last year.

5.  Jay Leno.  He’s down from being #4 last year.

6.  Stephen Colbert.  He wasn’t even in the Top 10 last year.

7.  “Blue Bloods” star Tom Selleck.  He was #10 last year.

8.  Oprah Winfrey.  She was also #8 last year.

9.  A tie between Robin Williams and Steve Harvey.  Neither of them were in the Top 10 last year.  For Robin, that’s because he wasn’t on TV last year.  He’s now on the CBS sitcom “The Crazy Ones”.

Monday TV Reminders:

 

 

“Sleepy Hollow” [Two-Hour Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

 

 

“Hollywood Game Night” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.  Valerie Bertinelli, Beth Behrs, and Julie Bowen are on the women’s team against Jason Alexander, Martin Short, and “Dateline NBC’s” Lester Holt for the men.

 

That’s followed by a second episode from 9:00 to 10:00 p.m., featuring Alyssa Milano, Paget Brewster, and Retta from “Parks and Recreation” playing against Michael Chiklis, Mario Lopez, and “Reno 911′s” Thomas Lennon.

 

 

“Klondike” [Mini-Series Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Discovery.  Richard Madden, who’s known for playing Robb Stark on “Game of Thrones”, stars in this miniseries about the Alaskan Gold Rush in the 1890s.

 

 

“Bad Ink” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E.

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman”No guests listed yet.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Chloe Bennett (Skye on “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”) and LL Cool J.  Music Guest:  Vampire Weekend.

 

 

“The Tonight Show”President Obama and Patti LaBelle.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon” – The incredibly sexy Elvis Duran . . . and some random chick named Jessica Alba.  Music Guest:  Disclosure.

 

 

“Carson Daly”No guests listed yet.

 

 

“Arsenio” – No guests listed yet.

 

 

“Conan”Gabrielle Union (BET’s “Being Mary Jane”) and “Workaholics” studs Adam DeVine, Blake Anderson, and Anders Holm.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Denis Leary.

 

 

“Chelsea Lately” – Roundtable guests:  Ben Gleib, April Richardson, Ryan Stout.

 

 

“Jon Stewart” – Author Marilynne Roach talks about her Salem witch trial book “Six Women of Salem:  The Untold Story of the Accused and Their Accusers…”

 

 

“The Colbert Report” – Author Scott Stossel (“My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind”).

Five Random Facts For Monday

1. There is no difference between Tylenol Cold and Tylenol Flu other than their packaging . . . they have the exact same ingredients.

 

 

2.  The Nazi salute is called the Bellamy salute.  Before the Nazis took it over, kids in the U.S. would do it during the Pledge of Allegiance.  In 1942, Congress decided you should put your hand over your heart during the Pledge instead.

 

 

3.  Almost all the wasabi we eat in the U.S. is actually a mixture of horseradish, mustard, starch, and food coloring.  Real wasabi is usually too expensive to import.

 

 

4.  It’s illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in England wearing a suit of armor.  It’s also illegal to die there.

 

 

5.  Ethiopia uses a different calendar than most of the rest of the world.  It has 13 months and it’s currently 2006 there now.  Their 13th month is only five days long or six days during a leap year.  And days start at 6:00 A.M. instead of midnight.

 

 

(Tylenol / Wikipedia / Wikipedia / The Scotsman / Geekeasy)

 

If Your Commute Is Over 45 Minutes, You Might Wind Up Divorced

According to a new study, long commutes are tied to DIVORCES. Researchers found that if one of the people in a marriage had a commute of 45 minutes or more, they were 40% more likely to wind up DIVORCED.

(NBC 5 – St. Louis)

The ’60s Have Been Voted the Most Fashionable Decade . . . Here’s the Top 10

In a new survey, the 1960s were voted the most FASHIONABLE decade.  They just beat out the 1920s, the ’50s, and the 2000s.  The ’70s came in dead last.

1.  The ’60s.  Bell bottoms, bright colors, miniskirts, and go-go boots.

 

2.  The ’20s.  Flapper clothes.

 

3.  The ’50s.  Leather jackets, poodle skirts, and cardigan sweaters.

 

4.  The 2000s.  Skinny jeans, Uggs, giant sunglasses, and Ed Hardy?

 

5.  The ’40s.  Full skirts and wide-legged pants.

 

6.  The ’30s.  Shoulder pads and hats worn at an angle.

 

7.  The ’90s.  Grunge, baggy pants, and wallet chains.

 

8.  The ’80s.  Leg warmers, acid-washed jeans, and neon.

 

9.  The 1910s.  Old-fashioned looks, long dresses, large women’s hats.

 

10.  The ’70s.  Wide collars, platform shoes, the disco look.  (FemaleFirst)

What “Back In My Day” Story Will You Tell Your Grandkids in 50 Years?

What “back in my day” story will you tell your grandkids in 50 years?  Some of the most popular candidates are stories about dial-up Internet, going to the video store if you wanted to watch a movie, and looking up directions on a map before you left the house.

1.  Back in my day, we used dial-up Internet.  It was slow, you got charged by the minute, you lost your connection if someone picked up a phone in the house, and it made horrible screeching noises when you connected.

 

2.  Back in my day, if we wanted to watch a movie, we had to drive to the video store to rent it.  If their one copy was checked out, you picked something else.  And then, when we were done, we had to rewind it so we wouldn’t get charged extra.

 

3.  Back in my day, if you wanted to talk to a girl, you had to call her house and talk to her parents first.

 

4.  Back in my day, if a kid was picking on you at school, your dad told you to go back the next day and punch him in the face . . . not file a lawsuit against him.

 

5.  Back in my day, if we needed directions, we had to look them up on a map before we left the house.  And if we got lost, we had to find a gas station where we could ask for directions that were probably not very good.  (Reddit)

Would You Eat Chocolate Fried Chicken?

In March, there’s a restaurant opening in Los Angeles that’ll serve CHOCOLATE FRIED CHICKEN.  It won’t be fried chicken dipped in chocolate . . . chocolate will be mixed into the fry batter.  For what it’s worth, the guy behind it also started a popular gourmet burger chain, so he might actually know what he’s doing.

(QSR Magazine)

A Nun Who Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant Just Gave Birth

Last Wednesday, a 31-year-old NUN in Italy was rushed to the hospital with stomach cramps . . . and it turns out she was in LABOR, and gave birth.  She says she had NO IDEA she was pregnant, and none of the other nuns at her convent knew either.  As for who impregnated the nun . . . well, no one’s really talking about that.

 

(Huffington Post)

 

Are Diaper Changing Rooms at Malls the New Place For Teenagers to Have Sex?

A woman popped into the diaper changing bathroom at a shopping mall in Missouri last week, to change her son’s diaper.  But while she was in there, two teenagers walked in . . . and started having sex.  She complained to mall officials . . . and they told her it happens ALL THE TIME.

(Fox 2 – St. Louis)

 

Evan Peters – 27  (Magneto’s son Quicksilver in the upcoming “X-Men: Days of Future Past”.  You might know him as Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, and Kyle Spencer on “American Horror Story”.  He’s also engaged to Emma Roberts.)

 

 

Daniel Cudmore – 33  (Colossus in the second and third “X-Men” movies.  He’ll also be back for the upcoming sequel “X-Men: Days of Future Past”.)

 

 

Skeet Ulrich – 44  (Johnny Depp’s bastard clone.  He was one of the killers in the original “Scream” in 1996.  Actual name:  Bryan Ray Trout.)

 

 

Melissa Rivers – 46  (Joan Rivers’ plastic daughter.)

 

 

Rainn Wilson – 48  (He was the incredible beet-farming lackey, Dwight, on “The Office” . . . and absolutely AMAZING in the twisted, 2010 superhero flick “Super”.  Ellen Page and Kevin Bacon kick ass in it, too.  It’s a great flick.  STREAM IT NOW!)

 

 

John Michael Montgomery – 49  (He’s had 20 Top Ten country songs and is still working it.  His brother is Eddie Montgomery of Montgomery Gentry.)

 

 

James Denton – 51  (Mike the dreamy plumber on “Desperate Housewives”.)

 

 

LORENZO LAMAS! – 56  (AMERICANIZED LATINO SUPERSTAR.)

 

 

Bill Maher – 58  (Another one of that select group of lucky men and women who had the honor and the privilege of starring in “D.C. Cab”!)

 

 

Paul Stanley – 62  (The Star Child!  Mantastic lead singer of KISS who’s now on his THIRD HIP!  Real name:  Stanley Eisen.)

David Lynch – 68  (Freaky director of “Eraserhead”, “Twin Peaks”, “Lost Highway” and “Mulholland Drive”.  His daughter Jennifer directed a horror flick last year called “Chained”.  It’s fantastic.  Check it out.  She was also responsible for the controversial 1993 flick “Boxing Helena”.)

 

 

ERIC STEWART! – 69  (Member of 10cc with LOL CRÈME!)  (When Lol goes into chat rooms and people ask him his name, do they just think he’s laughing at them?  Discuss.)

 

 

Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin – 84  (Second man on the moon.)

 

 

Arte Johnson – 85  (Old-school comedian, “Laugh In” regular AND a panelist on “The Gong Show”.  You’d also remember him as George Hamilton’s insect-eating ghoul Renfield in “Love At First Bite”!)

 

 

Rudy Boesch – 86  (Retired Navy SEAL who made it to the Final Four in the original “Survivor”.  He’s everything that’s right about America!  Sadly, he lost to Gay, Conniving Richard Hatch.  They’re friends now, but not in a homosexual way.)

 

 

George Burns – (1896 – 1996)

 

 

DeForest Kelley – (1920 – 1999)  (Dr. “Bones” McCoy on “Star Trek”!  He also appeared in the CLASSIC 1972 killer rabbit flick “Night of the Lepus”.  Yes, it’s a real movie.  Check out the trailer here.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• It’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day

• 11 days to the Year of the Horse

• 13 days until Super Bowl 48

• 18 days to the Winter Olympics

• 25 days to Valentine’s Day

• 1,096 days left of “Hope and Change”

122 years ago . . . in 1892 – The FIRST OFFICIAL BASKETBALL GAME was played at a YMCA training school in Springfield, Massachusetts.  The players used peach baskets . . . without cutting out the bottom.  The game had to be stopped after every basket so someone could climb a ladder and get the ball. 

 

 

62 years ago . . . in 1952 – Texan Patricia McCormick became the FIRST PROFESSIONAL FEMALE BULLFIGHTER to compete in Mexico.  She defeated two bulls.  (Insert your own Ellen DeGeneres or k.d. lang joke here.)

 

 

53 years ago . . . in 1961 – JOHN F. KENNEDY was sworn in as the 35th president of the United States.  His inaugural speech included the famous quote, “Ask not what your country can do for you . . . ask what you can do for your country.”  JFK loved to nail random side-action, ya know . . . just LOVED it.

 

 

41 years ago . . . in 1973 – JERRY LEE LEWIS agreed to make his first appearance at the “Grand Ole Opry”.  The Opry accepted him on two conditions . . . 1.)  That he perform only country songs and 2.)  That he not use any profanity.  He violated BOTH requests.  Jerry Lee Lewis loved to nail his 13-year-old cousin, ya know . . . just LOVED it.

 

 

33 years ago . . . in 1981 – RONALD REAGAN was sworn in as the 40th president of the United States.  Minutes later, Iran released the 52 American hostages it had held for 444 days. 

 

 

32 years ago . . . in 1982 – OZZY OSBOURNE bit the head off a BAT that some fan threw on stage during a concert in Des Moines, Iowa.  Ozzy had to be hospitalized for rabies.  He claims he thought it was rubber.

 

 

28 years ago . . . in 1986 – Finally, the United States observed the MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. federal holiday for the first time!

 

 

25 years ago . . . in 1989 – GEORGE BUSH [THE ELDER] was sworn in as the 41st president of the United States.

25 years ago . . . in 1989 – SUPERSTAR LORENZO LAMAS married his third wife, Kathleen Kinmont on his 31st birthday.  For some reason, she let SUPERSTAR LORENZO LAMAS get away four years later.

 

 

24 years ago . . . in 1990 – ROSEANNE married TOM ARNOLD . . . four days after divorcing her first husband.  She and Tom split up four years later.

 

 

21 years ago . . . in 1993 – The amazing AUDREY HEPBURN died of colon cancer at the age of 64.

 

 

21 years ago . . . in 1993 – BILLY CLINTON was inaugurated as the 42nd U.S. president.  Like his hero JFK, Billy Clinton LOVES to nail random side-action . . . just LOVES IT.

 

 

20 years ago . . . in 1994 – SHANNON FAULKNER became the first female to attend classes at The Citadel, following a long, drawn-out legal battle for the right to enroll.  She quit A WEEK LATER because she was a big baby who couldn’t handle the isolation and stress LIKE A MAN.  (She’s a high school teacher now.)

 

 

Nine years ago . . . in 2005 – GEORGE W. BUSH was inaugurated for his 2nd term.

 

 

Five years ago . . . in 2009 – BARACK OBAMA was inaugurated as America’s first black president.  To Harry Reid’s great relief, he didn’t have a lick of “negro dialect.”

 

 

Three years ago . . . in 2011 – Scientists claimed that 2010 was the warmest year ever recorded, and the last decade was the warmest since we started keeping track 200 years ago.

 

 

Two years ago . . . in 2012 – Legendary singer ETTA JAMES died at the age of 73.

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