Your daily dose of whatever includes:
- Razzies Nominations
- A new religion has emerged based on….Kanye?!?!
- How much should your kids get for allowance?
The Razzie Nominations Are Out . . . and “Grown Ups 2″ Was Well Represented
This year’s Razzie nominees are out, and the cinematic gem “Grown Ups 2″ was WELL represented. It led the way with eight nominations, including a Worst Actor nomination for ADAM SANDLER. The “winners” will be announced on March 1st, which . . . as usual . . . is the day before the Oscars.
Here’s the complete list of nominees . . .
“The Lone Ranger”
“Grown Ups 2″
“A Madea Christmas”
Lindsay Lohan, “The Canyons”
Naomi Watts, “Diana” and “Movie 43″
Selena Gomez, “Getaway”
Tyler Perry (in drag), “A Madea Christmas”
Halle Berry, “Movie 43″ and “The Call”
Johnny Depp, “The Lone Ranger”
Sylvester Stallone, “Bullet to the Head”, “Escape Plan” and “Grudge Match”
Ashton Kutcher, “Jobs”
Jaden Smith, “After Earth”
Adam Sandler, “Grown Ups 2″
Worst Supporting Actress:
Lady Gaga, “Machete Kills”
Salma Hayek, “Grown Ups 2″
Katherine Heigl, “The Big Wedding”
Kim Kardashian, “Tyler Perry’s Temptation”
Lindsay Lohan, “InAPPropriate Comedy” and “Scary Movie 5″
Worst Supporting Actor:
Chris Brown, “Battle of the Year”
Larry the Cable Guy, “A Madea Christmas”
Taylor Lautner, “Grown Ups 2″
Will Smith, “After Earth”
Nick Swardson, “A Haunted House” and “Grown Ups 2″
The 13 People Who Directed “Movie 43″
Dennis Dugan, “Grown Ups 2″
Tyler Perry, “A Madea Christmas” and “Temptation”
M. Night Shyamalan, “After Earth”
Gore Verbinski, “The Lone Ranger”
Worst Screen Combo:
The Entire Cast of “Grown Ups 2″
The Entire Cast of “Movie 43″
Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen, “Scary Movie 5″
Tyler Perry and EITHER Larry the Cable Guy OR That Worn-Out Wig and Dress, “A Madea Christmas”
Jaden Smith and Will Smith on Planet Nepotism, “After Earth”
“Grown Ups 2″
“The Lone Ranger”
“A Madea Christmas”
Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel:
“Grown Ups 2″
“The Hangover Part 3″
“The Lone Ranger”
“Scary Movie 5″
“The Smurfs 2″
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. A 50th Anniversary celebration of the “Sports Illustrated” Swimsuit Issue brought together minxes young and old, from KATE UPTON and IRELAND BALDWIN to CHERYL TIEGS and CHRISTIE BRINKLEY. (Check out pics here, here and here.)
(Meanwhile, check out every single Swimsuit Issue cover here.)
2. Here’s the first in what we hope is a long line of topless selfies from IRELAND BALDWIN.
3. MILEY CYRUS’ new hairstyle is somewhere between JIM CARREY from “Dumb & Dumber” and Moe from “The Three Stooges“.
4. Without steroids, A-ROD’S belly is going to pot.
5. Eat it, haters . . . CHAZ BONO just keeps getting hotter!
6. It’s important to check in on VANESSA HUDGENS’ cleavage every few weeks or so.
7. SUSAN BOYLE blowing on bagpipes. And that’s all I’m gonna say.
8. MELANIE GRIFFITH may have ruined her face with plastic surgery, but she still looks good in a bikini.
9. DEMI LOVATO posted a nice bikini pic.
10. Check out a gallery of child versions of the celebrities at this year’s “Golden Globes”.
11. What would the guys from ONE DIRECTION look like if they were bald? Now you know.
There’s Now a Religion Based on Kanye West
There’s now a RELIGION based on KANYE WEST. It’s called Yeezianity, and the founder claims it’s NOT a joke. Followers believe that, quote, “The one who calls himself Yeezus is a divine being who has been sent by God to usher in a New Age of humanity.”
The religion has five pillars. They are:
1. All things created must be for the good of all.
2. No human being’s right to express themselves must ever be repressed.
3. Money is unnecessary except as a means of exchange.
4. Man possesses the power to create everything he wants and needs.
5. All human suffering exists to stimulate the creative powers of Man.
Walt Disney’s Grandniece Says Walt Was Indeed Racist, Sexist and Anti-Semitic
: WALT DISNEY’S grandniece Abigail agrees with MERYL STREEP that Walt was racist, sexist and anti-Semitic. But she adds, quote, “He was hella good at making films and his work has made billions of people happy. There’s no denying it. So there ya go. Mixed feelings up the wazoo . . . I know he was a man of his times and I can forgive him.”
Gisele Bundchen Doesn’t Own a Hairbrush, and Only Watches Football When Tom Brady Is Playing
GISELE BUNDCHEN says she doesn’t even own a hairbrush because, quote, “In my job you have to remember people are brushing my hair every day. You have to remember the last thing I want [on a day off] is a brush in my hair!” She also says she never watches football unless her husband TOM BRADY is playing.
Steven Spielberg is Our Most Influential Celebrity
“Forbes” has released its annual list of the Most Influential Celebrities, and this year, STEVEN SPIELBERG is #1. OPRAH WINFREY, who topped the list in the two previous years, came in second this year.
1. Steven Spielberg, 47%
2. Oprah Winfrey, 45%
3. George Lucas, 43%
4. Ron Howard, 41%
5. A tie between Martin Scorsese and Dr. Mehmet Oz, with 40% apiece.
7. A three-way tie between Barbara Walters, Bono and comic book legend Stan Lee, with 37% apiece
10. Rush Limbaugh, 36%
Somebody Recreated the Movie “Reservoir Dogs” on Twitter
Some guy recreated the movie “Reservoir Dogs” on Twitter. The whole movie. It’s not exactly art, but it’s pretty interesting. Here’s what he did:
He created a Twitter account called “Reservoir Dogs”, and 15 other accounts for the various characters, like Mr. White, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink and so on. Then he posted 1,100 Tweets over two days . . . in reverse chronological order so you can read it from beginning to end.
Obviously, all the “characters” Tweeted their dialogue, and the Reservoir Dogs account Tweeted the exposition, like “Eight men dressed in BLACK SUITS, sit around a table at a breakfast cafe.” (Check it out here.)
Mama June from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” Really Looks Like Ursula the Sea Witch from “The Little Mermaid”
I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed how much MAMA JUNE from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” looks like Ursula the Sea Witch from “The Little Mermaid” . . . but that fact hits you right in the face in a gallery of celebrities who resemble Disney characters.
There are a few other really good ones, like AUBREY PLAZA’S resemblance to Violet from “The Incredibles”, and BETTY WHITE looking like the Fairy Godmother from “Cinderella”.
The Creator of “How I Met Your Mother” Is Apologizing for This Week’s Offensive Episode
The co-creator of “How I Met Your Mother” is apologizing for inadvertently offending people . . . when they had the characters dressed up as Asians on this week’s episode. He said it was supposed to be an homage to Kung Fu movies, but obviously not everyone enjoyed the joke.
The “Batman” TV Show From the 1960s is Finally Coming Out on DVD This Year
The “Batman” TV series from the 1960s is finally coming out on home video this year. For some reason, CONAN O’BRIEN made the announcement. He also Tweeted a picture of himself with the old-school Batmobile, along with the caption, “The seat smells like Adam West.”
Thursday TV Reminders:
• “American Idol” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Part 2 of the premiere auditions.
• “The 19th Annual Critic’s Choice Awards” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. (Nominees)
• “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on TLC.
• “Party Down South” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CMT. A new reality show from the producers of “Jersey Shore” that features rednecks partying in South Carolina instead. For an idea of what kind of intellectual giants they are, after getting drunk one of the girls calls for a taxi and spells it out, T-A-X-Y.
• “Jerks with Cameras” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV. A team of comedians mess with people in this new prank show hosted by Tone Bell.
• “Under the Gunn” [Series Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Lifetime. A new fashion competition series hosted by Tim Gunn, with “Project Runway” alumni Mondo Guerra, Anya Ayoung-Chee and Nick Verreos as the mentors.
• “The Price of Gold” . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on ESPN. A documentary about the Tonya Harding – Nancy Kerrigan feud and the attack before the 1994 Olympics.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” NBC’s Brian Williams. Music Guest: Rosanne Cash.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Chris Pine (“Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit”), author Kevin O’Leary (“The Cold Hard Truth On Men, Women, and Money”), and jazz singer Gregory Porter.
• “The Tonight Show” – Mark Harmon (“NCIS”). Music Guest: Kristin Chenoweth.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Drake.
• “Carson Daly” – Dominic Cooper (“Reasonable Doubt”) and comedian Patton Oswalt (“Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time”). Music Guest: Icona Pop.
• “Arsenio” – Diahann Carroll from “White Collar”. Music Guest: T-Pain.
• “Conan” – Emmy Rossum (“Comet”) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Music Guests: Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Kenneth Branagh (“Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit”) and comedian Christian Finnegan.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Heather Graham.
• “Jon Stewart” – Author Steven Brill (“Class Warfare: Inside the Fight to Fix America’s Schools”).
• “The Colbert Report” – Naquasia LeGrand talks about working two jobs at KFC while fighting to get higher wages for her fellow fast-food workers.
Five Random Facts For Thursday
Here are a few random facts for you. Graham crackers were invented by an evangelical minister who believed grains were the key to repressing people’s sex drives . . . WEIRD AL’S “Eat It” hit number one in Australia in 1984, while MICHAEL JACKSON’S “Beat It” only hit number three . . . and the little button on the top of a baseball hat is called a squatchee.
1. Graham crackers were invented by an evangelical minister named Sylvester Graham . . . because he believed grains were the key to suppressing people’s sex drives.
2. JACKIE CHAN’S mother was an opium smuggler, and his father was a spy.
3. WEIRD AL’S song “Eat It” hit number one in Australia in 1984. That’s the one that’s a parody of MICHAEL JACKSON’S “Beat It” . . . which only made it to number three in Australia.
4. That little button on the top of a baseball cap is called a squatchee.
5. When hippos poop, they spin their tails around . . . so the poop flings all over the place to mark their territory.
What’s Something People Only Do Because It’s “Cool” . . . and Would Never Do Otherwise?
What’s something people only do because it’s “COOL” and would never do otherwise? Some of the best ones we’ve heard are sagging their pants, wearing high heels, tanning, and smoking.
1. Sagging their pants.
2. Wearing high heels.
3. Acting stupid or ignorant.
4. Tanning. Why else would anyone rapidly age their skin and increase their risk of cancer?
5. Buying designer clothes instead of the cheapest clothes available.
7. Wearing shoes with laces when Velcro is so much easier.
8. Waxing their body hair.
How Much Allowance Should Your Kids Get? Here’s What the Average Person Says
According to a new survey, 60% of parents give their kids an allowance. But how much should you give? The average person says $4 a week for kids between four and nine . . . $9 a week for kids between 10 and 13 . . . and $16 for kids 14 to 17. But 86% of people agree they should only get an allowance if they EARN it by doing chores.
There’s a Woman Making $30,000 a Month Off Self-Published Books About Sex With Bigfoot
There’s a woman named Virginia Wade who’s making $30,000 a MONTH off her self-published books . . . about people having SEX WITH BIGFOOT. Apparently there’s a whole subgenre of romance novels about sex with monsters . . . and it’s pretty lucrative. If you’re interested, Virginia’s series is called “Moan For Bigfoot”.
A Little League Coach Is Suing a 14-Year-Old Player For Accidentally Injuring His Achilles Tendon During a Victory Celebration
In California, a little league coach is SUING one of his 14-year-old players. During a celebration last spring, the kid threw off his helmet, hit the coach in the leg, and somehow tore his Achilles tendon. So the coach is suing the kid for $500,000 for pain and suffering, and $100,000 for lost wages and medical bills.
Doctors in Norway Accidentally Lit a Patient on Fire During Heart Surgery . . . But Apparently That Happens All the Time in the U.S.
A woman was having heart surgery in Norway earlier this month . . . and surgeons accidentally LIT HER ON FIRE. Their electric scalpels sparked and ignited their disinfectant fluid . . . which set the woman on fire, WOKE HER UP, and caused third-degree burns. But apparently this happens more often than you’d think . . . about 100 people were accidentally set on fire during surgery in the U.S. last year.
There’s a Guy Who Hasn’t Taken a Bath or a Shower in 60 Years
There’s an 80-year-old nomad in Iran who claims he hasn’t taken a bath or shower in SIXTY YEARS. It’s because, quote, “cleanliness brings [me] sickness.” He also smokes a pipe filled with animal feces and his favorite food is dead porcupine.
A Congressman from Virginia is Introducing a Bill to Make the TSA More Polite
A Democratic Congressman from Virginia is introducing a bill to require TSA agents to be MORE POLITE. He says a study found people are more likely to cooperate with TSA agents when they’re polite and, quote, “There’s no excuse for someone barking orders continuously at the public.”
A Man Shoots Himself in the Face While Taking Off His Pants
On Sunday night, a man in Tennessee took off his pants without taking his .25-caliber pistol out of his pocket. And in the process . . . he managed to accidentally SHOOT HIMSELF in the FACE. The bullet hit him in the chin and got lodged in his neck. He was airlifted to a hospital where he’s doing well . . . but the bullet is still stuck in his neck.
Aaliyah – Would have been 35 – (1979 – 2001) (She only had three albums in her short life and all three of them went Double Platinum.)
Albert Pujols – 34 (Baseball superstar who left the St. Louis Cardinals for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.)
Kate Moss – 40 (Super-skanky supermodel. She has a tiny heart TATTOOED on her hand + She SMOKES + She DRINKS = She’s EASY!)
Josie Davis – 41 (The “ugly” girl from “CHARLES IN CHARGE”! Scott Baio probably nailed her anyway.) (And after seeing how well she’s matured, you probably would too. You might particularly enjoy #18 in this gallery.)
Richard T. Jones – 42 (Cocolicious stud who plays the governor on “Hawaii Five-0″. You might also remember him from “Judging Amy” and “The Sarah Connor Chronicles”.
Roy Jones Jr. – 45 (One of the few modern superstars from the boxing world.)
Danni Ashe – 46 (Officially certified by “The Guinness Book of World Records” as the “Most-Downloaded Woman on the Internet” in 2000 . . . through her very naughty website, “Danni’s Hard Drive”!)
SADE – 55 (Nigerian singing goddess. Real name: Helen Folasade Adu.)
Debbie Allen – 64 (Actress-dancer-choreographer. Phylicia Rashad’s sister. Star of “Fame”, “Roots: The Next Generations”, AND three very special episodes of “A Different World” . . . which co-starred wisecracking Nubian KADEEM HARDISON!)
John Carpenter – 66 (Director of “Halloween”, the AWESOME ’80s remake of “The Thing”, “Big Trouble in Little China”, “Christine”, the original version of “The Fog”, the original version of “Assault on Precinct 13″, “They Live”, “Escape from New York”, “Escape from L.A.” . . .)
Dr. Laura Schlessinger – 67 (Satan’s personal representative here on Earth.)
Ronnie Milsap – 68 (Country singer who sees as well as Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles AND Jose Feliciano!)
René Angelil – 72 (Celine Dion’s chubby old naughty husband.)
A.J. Foyt – 79 (Auto racing king.)
ETHEL MERMAN! – (1908 – 1984) – (Sweet chubby minx . . . with NO GAG MECHANISM.)
Dizzy Dean – (1910 – 1974) - (Baseball Hall of Famer who once said, “It ain’t braggin’ if you can do it.” Kid Rock says, “It ain’t braggin’ if ya back it up.”)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 4 days to Martin Luther King Day
• 15 days to the Year of the Horse
• 17 days until Super Bowl 48
• 22 days to the Winter Olympics
• 29 days to Valentine’s Day
• 1,100 days left of “Hope and Change”
94 years ago . . . in 1920 - PROHIBITION began. Americans weren’t allowed to booze freely for 13 YEARS . . . when the 18th Amendment was finally repealed.
61 years ago . . . in 1953 – The CHEVY CORVETTE was introduced at a car show at New York’s Waldorf-Astoria Hotel.
42 years ago . . . in 1972 - DAVID SEVILLE, most famous for his songs as ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS, died at age 52. David Seville also wrote the 1958 novelty song smash hit, “Witch Doctor”!
42 years ago . . . in 1972 – The DALLAS COWBOYS beat the MIAMI DOLPHINS, 24-to-3, to win SUPER BOWL SIX. Dallas quarterback ROGER STAUBACH completed 12 of 19 passes for 119 yards and two touchdowns . . . and was voted the game’s MVP. (Tickets cost just $15.)
41 years ago . . . in 1973 - NBC presented the 440th and final showing of “Bonanza”! (It lasted 14 seasons, was on the air since 1959 and starred the mighty LORNE GREENE.)
40 years ago . . . in 1974 - “Jaws”, by Peter Benchley, was first published.
36 years ago . . . in 1978 – NASA named the 35 candidates to fly in the space shuttle . . . and they included SALLY RIDE, the first woman in space, and GUION BLUFORD, JR., the first brother in space! (Screw Whitey!)
34 years ago . . . in 1980 - PAUL MCCARTNEY was jailed in Tokyo for 10 days . . . for possessing MARIJUANA! REEFER! WEED! GANJA! GRASS!
33 years ago . . . in 1981 - Fugly boxer LEON SPINKS was mugged and had his mouth violated . . . because the muggers even took his gold teeth.
30 years ago . . . in 1984 - PAUL AND LINDA MCCARTNEY were arrested in Barbados . . . this time for possessing CANNABIS.
29 years ago . . . in 1985 – “PLAYBOY” ANNOUNCED THE END OF STAPLING CENTERFOLDS.
28 years ago . . . in 1986 – Five years after his retirement, surveys showed that super-sexy WALTER CRONKITE was STILL the most trusted man in America.
26 years ago . . . in 1988 – The very repetitive GEORGE HARRISON smash “Got My Mind Set On You” hit #1.
23 years ago . . . in 1991 - The White House announced the start of OPERATION DESERT STORM to drive Saddam Hussein and his evil Iraqi minions out of Kuwait. (Because of the time difference, it was early January 17th in the Persian Gulf when the attack began.)
17 years ago . . . in 1997 - BILL COSBY’S son, ENNIS COSBY, was murdered on an L.A. highway. He was only 27. Bill hasn’t been the same since.
Five years ago . . . in 2009 - BOY GEORGE was sentenced to 15 months in prison for false imprisonment when he handcuffed a male escort to his wall.