Growing up, there were certain things that I could count on. On random holidays (Halloween, 4th of July, Thanksgiving) I would get a card in the mail from my aunt and uncle who live in Gaylord with a dollar in it. My grandmother would probably give me a check for $11 on my birthday. And if I told my parents that I needed yet another pair of new shoes for yet another sport, they were probably going to tell me to buy them with my own money because I already had plenty of shoes (which I did). I think that that was a pretty normal childhood, even though my parents didn't want to buy me 47 new pairs of shoes every year, I don't consider them to be bad parents.
That's because I'm normal. You probably feel the same about your parents. And that's because you're normal, too. These kids I'm about to tell you about, they are in no way normal.