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Please Don’t Text Me A Picture Of That

flickr, carlin.lusk

Women and men are wired differently, I get it. While men are highly stimulated by visual things, women prefer emotions and words. So, I understand, kind of, why guys like it when girls text them pictures. And, why guys constantly ask girls to send them pictures of themselves, especially when they’re just getting to know each other.

However, guys, take note: chicks do not, DO NOT, want you to send them a picture of your crank (or member, or Johnson, or however else you refer to it).

Guys like getting pictures of boobs, of course. Because guys are visual creatures and because boobs are generally nice to look at. But, I hate to break it to you guys, your member is not attractive. It doesn’t have the soft curves of a boob. Even if I really really like you, I really really don’t want to see a picture of your most intimate of areas.

Don’t get me wrong. I love men! I love what they have to offer! I just don’t want to have to look at what they have to offer, and I sure as hell don’t want to be surprised by a picture of it staring at me from my phone’s screen.

The male anatomy is not a valentine! It is not a way to tell someone that you love them, or are interested in them! It IS a way for you to say, “Does that look like a mole to you? I hope it’s a mole, and not something worse.”

If a girl sends a guy a full frontal pic, the guy will usually respond with, “Oooh! Yeah! I like what I’m seeing!” If you reverse the roles, however, the girl is probably thinking, “Oh my god! What is that? Is it safe to bleach my eyes?!?”

Now, I can say that most of the men I surveyed about this said that they would never send a pic unless asked for one, I don’t think that I believe them.

Another friend said,

These are tricky. Not very many are good at taking them. And trust me, bad pics of this nature can ruin a love interest faster than finding out they live in their mother’s basement.

While my friend Fran chimed in with this,

Unsolicited I would be completely wierded out; unless it was unsolicited but from my bf in which case I’m not sure I would be thrilled, but if that was something he was into I guess I would go with it and make the appropriate appreciative comments?

And Andrea doesn’t mind them, as long as they were asked for,

If they are solicited, then they aren’t bad. If you don’t know what you’re opening and boom! freaky d*ck pic…that sh*t can scar you.

A writer for Glamour decided to take a poll of her group of guy friends to see why they think that dudes feel the need to do this, and my favorite response was this,
Guys might genuinely think that it’s a sexy thing that girls would want. There is some logic there, although this is a prime example of why logic doesn’t always work.

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