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PDA Isn’t A-OK

Ok, let me preface everything that I’m about to say by saying that I don’t think that affection is a bad thing. Want to hold hands with your honey? Go for it. Want to give him a kiss when he walks in the door? More power to you. But, PDA is gross. Excessive PDA is even more gross. And old people excessive PDA should be illegal. Just sayin’.

Case in point: I’m sitting at my favorite local bar the other night, minding my own business, when this older couple sits down next to me. We exchange niceties, because that’s what you do with old strangers at the bar, and I turned back to the very important things that I was doing (checking Facebook and playing Words With Friends, obviously). They order their drinks, mull over the menu, and talk about how expensive things are these days, as old people do; I figured it would be a pretty standard night.

Nope! I was wrong. After their first round of Tom Collins’, they were feeling pretty good, it seems. And frisky. Next thing I know, she’s in his lap (which is an impressive feat on a barstool with no back), nuzzling his ear, kissing his neck, and then they break out into an all-out make out session. At the bar. In front of people. No dignity. They were about 4 articles of clothing away from just going at it right there at the bar! I mean, they were involved in some sort of soft-core porn foreplay make out adventure!

I immediately looked away, because I felt embarrassed and had that feeling like I was intruding on someone’s private moment. You know, like when your roommates are getting it on and don’t realize that you’re coming home? And you come waltzing in thinking about cookies or puppies or whatever, and you stop like a deer in headlights and hear a weird noise, and then listen, and then back slowly out the door?

Yea, THAT feeling.

But then I realized that I was not in my home, or their home, or anyone else’s home, and they KNEW that I was there! This is in public, at a “family restaurant”, and I shouldn’t have to feel embarrassed.

So I just kind of glared at them, and cleared my throat a lot, and thought about saying something, but I’m just not that much of a bitch.

Like I said before, I don’t have an issue with a little PDA. A peck on the cheek when you first see each other, holding hands while you’re walking down the street, both of those are ok in my book.

But a full-on make-out sesh in a restaurant with hands groping everywhere?

That’s the kind of thing that you see in the hallways of a high school. When you’re home, get your freak on. But in public? Keep it classy.

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