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New Way For Guys To Be Creepy – Having Your Underwear Analyzed

flickr, Still Burning

This is not a joke. Being suspicious and creepy has gone to a whole new level! Now, if your man thinks that you are, perhaps, cheating on him, he can mail a company a pair of your underwear and have it analyzed. I couldn’t even make this up. says,

Do you suspect that your partner or daughter has had sex recently? Would you like to verify and confront them? Semen Analysis is the most appropriate form of testing and the best way to find out if your partner is cheating or your daughter is having sex.

Well, now they’re bringing your daughter into the mix, too. Am I the only one that finds this completely bizarre? No worries though, right on the side of the website, they give you an entire list of ways that you can tell that your partner is cheating.

Does your partner hide their cell phone? They’re probably cheating. Have they started dressing nicer? Couldn’t be that they just want to improve their appearance. Nope. They’re totally cheating.

So basically, your man just digs through your laundry, mails some strangers your underwear, and then waits to see if the DNA on it matches yours and his.

Or, you know, he could just ask you.

Or call up that “Cheaters” show.

In my mind, I’m just picturing some creepy nerd holed up in his mom’s basement, surrounded by piles of women’s underwear. And now, I can’t get that image out of my head.

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