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Man’s New Year’s Resolution: “To Become A Pink Disposable Feminine Pad.” No, Seriously

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Meet Pad. Well, Pad isn’t his real name. His real name is Brandon. But, he calls himself Pad, he wants to change his name to “Pad”, he’d prefer it if you called him “Pad”, and one of his New Year’s resolutions is to “become a pink disposable feminine pad”. Perfectly normal, right?

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Pad’s last name is Gardner (at least according to his Twitter page), and he has a lot of goals for 2013. The Panama City, FL man wants to do the following in the next 10 months or so:

1. To get [his] legal first name changed to Pad.
2. To start preparing for life as a feminine pad.
3. To bicycle across the United States.
4. To set a world record for having the largest pad collection.
5. To become a pink disposable feminine pad.

All of this is according to his page on DeviantArt.com. Why does he want to become a pad? Well, I’m not exactly sure. He says on his DeviantArt profile:

I have wanted to become a pad since I was ten years old.

Lofty goal for a ten-year-old. He also lets us know that he has a fascination with werewolves and vampires, so obviously he is a well-adjusted, perfectly normal, maxi pad wannabe.

And how is that pad collection going? Well, according to Pad himself,

Currently I own 686 pads towards setting a world record for the largest pad collection. I am planning to donate myself and all the pads in the collection to women in need of pads once I have become a pad finally.

I don’t know how one goes about becoming a pad, and honestly, I’m not sure that I want to. Turns out, he’s not too sure, either. Which he discusses (along with other things) in this video.

And hey! Lucky us! This is also the video “where I discuss tampons”. Neat.

(Also, if you’re interested, his Facebook page contains tons of pictures of him “hanging out with pads”. No, I am not joking.)

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