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Man Assaults Boyfriend Because Of Alanis Morissette Music – Wendy’s Douche Of The Day

Back when I was an angsty teenager, I listened to Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” on repeat like it was my job. Apparently, these days, there are still people that do that. And sometimes, that causes their boyfriend to assault them with a dinner plate. No really, Allen Blair Casey, a man from Florida, got so sick of listening to Alanis over and over that he smacked his boyfriend in the face with a plate and earned the title of “Wendy’s Douche of the Day”.

I can’t even make this stuff up! Douchemaster supreme, Allen, smacked his 33-year-old boyfriend in the face after a few too many spins of “Ironic” (or whatever his favorite song may be), and then took off. Police found him in a park, and when they asked him about the incident, he replied,

That’s all that m***** f***** listens to!

Not surprisingly, officials believe that both men were under the influence of either amphetamines or methamphetamines.

Oh, Allen, you can’t just go around assaulting people with place settings because you don’t like their taste in music, “You Oughta Know” that… And why a plate? You had ten thousand spoon at your disposal.

You live, you learn… (Okay, I’ll stop quoting Alanis now.)

[The Daily Mail]

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