Wendy’s Douche Of The Day

Wizards are pretty sweet. I mean, if we are to believe movies like "Harry Potter" and "Lord Of The Rings", wizards can do some pretty awesome stuff. Like make people invisible. Unfortunately for one man, wizards aren't real, at least not in the Harry Potter sense of the word. So, when you pay a "wizard" $500 so that you can be invisible and rob a bank, it's probably going to backfire.

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I understand that it's probably upsetting when your girlfriend goes to jail. I understand that it's also probably upsetting when her bail is set at $1,500 and you don't have that kind of cash laying around. What I do not understand is thinking, "Well, I guess I'll just sell my 6-year-old daughter to an old lady to make that bail money!". That was Shawn Wayne Hughes' idea, and that is also what earned him the title of "Wendy's Douche Of The Day".

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Now, I don't necessarily condone people dying their pets weird colors, but I don't really think that it's an offense that warrants beating them with a wrench. However, Oregon resident George Mason, Jr. doesn't seem to agree with my stance on pet dying, and that is how he earned himself the title of "Wendy's Douche Of The Day".

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Connecticut state Representative Ernest Hewett was attending a hearing in front of the Appropriations Committee hearing at the Connecticut state Capitol. So was a seventeen year old female intern who was there to talk about a program that had helped her come out of her shell and overcome her fear of snakes. In true douche fashion, Rep. Hewett had something completely inappropriate to say about snakes. See what I mean after the jump.

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Allow me to introduce you to Sonny Abreu. Sonny is a known gang member. Sonny also decided to rob a disabled man at an ATM, and then push the man and his chihuahua out into moving traffic. All of these things combined have led me to name Sonny my douche of the day today.

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Meet Gary Thompson. Gary is well known on the streets of Lexington, KY as a panhandler who is very much down on his luck. According to the story that Gary tells folks, he was in an accident that left him both physically and mentally handicapped. So, Gary takes to the streets in his wheelchair every day, asking the fine folks of Lexington for money. Thing is, Gary isn't actually mentally handicapped at all. And a local news station (22 News WWLP) busted him.

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Have you ever thought to yourself, "man, what will all of my Twitter followers do once I'm dead? How will I sling clever one-liners in 140 characters or less when I'm dead and gone?" Well, wonder no more! There's now an app for that, and it's kind of douchey. And creepy. 

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It is a known fact that bleach kills germs. I thought it was a known fact that bleach isn't for human consumption. But, it turns out that a 20-year-old dad in Florida did not know that, and tried to use bleach to kill the germs that were living inside of his 2-month-old baby. It is because of this that a) I feel people should need to pass a test in order to have a child, and b) Carron Washington of Ocala, FL is "Wendy's Douche Of The Day".

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Rihanna is newsworthy. To a point, Chris Brown in newsworthy. But, it's not very often that I think of Ronald Fenty, Rihanna's dad, as being newsworthy. In fact, he really isn't, but he's made a statement so ludicrous that I had to name him "Wendy's Douche Of The Day" today. You're probably asking yourself, "what on Earth could he have said to earn him such a title?". Well guys, according to good old Ronald, Chris Brown is just a downright nice guy. He's just misunderstood. Give me a freakin' break.

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Apparently, a really popular thing for some New Yorkers to do is dress up like a super hero and walk around Times Square. Now, I know that that seems pretty douchey in and of itself, but it turns out that it can be pretty lucrative for them. But, one Spiderman lookalike took things just a bit too far when a woman didn't tip him, and has earned himself the title of "Wendy's Douche Of The Day".

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Back when I was an angsty teenager, I listened to Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill" on repeat like it was my job. Apparently, these days, there are still people that do that. And sometimes, that causes their boyfriend to assault them with a dinner plate. No really, Allen Blair Casey, a man from Florida, got so sick of listening to Alanis over and over that he smacked his boyfriend in the face with a plate and earned the title of "Wendy's Douche of the Day".

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Bad parents are their own special brand of douchiness. Neglectful and abusive parents are pretty much as douchey as they come. And Jesse Edwards definitely fits into all of those categories. He's a colossal douche, and therefor, my douche of the day. Why is he so douchey? Find out after the jump!

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