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Johnnie Walker

I've never been good at filling these things out, but here it goes. I like long walks in cold mountain air, preferably with snow on the ground. I enjoy drinking fine soda by the crackling fire, and deep tissue massage. I hope to one day grow up an become and astronaut, so I can fly to Venus to see if that's really where women come from. If it's true, I'll bring one back for you, too. Unless it's a dude you want, and then you're out of luck...sorry. My favorite month is October, because Halloween is the best holiday ever! It allows me to openly proclaim my love and obsession with scary movies without being seen as some sort of lunatic. Okay, not too much of a lunatic. I'm a huge fan of rock and metal music, and you'll often hear me blasting the control room speakers into oblivion every night during my show. My engineer doesn't like me very much, since he has to fix them. Sorry, Mike.
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MOVE Systems is MOVE-ing Their Manufacturing from China to Grand Rapids

MOVE Systems, a company that makes eco-friendly mobile food carts, and other food service equipment, is making a $13 million investment in Grand Rapids! They're bringing their manufacturing to Walker, from China, which also brings jobs!

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Boy looks at shelves with toys in shop (Pavel Losevsky/Thinkstock)
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Should a Sex Offender Be Allowed to Open a Business Next to a Toy Store?

In Battle Creek, there's a man who's on the Sex Offender list who wants to open up a Food Auction store to "help the community". But people in the neighborhood are a bit upset, and don't want him to be able to. Because his store would be right next door to a toy store, and only a few blocks from a school.

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Category: Michigan News Tags: ,
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Retired South Haven Medic Receives Medal of Honor from President Trump

President Trump awarded his first Congressional Medal of Honor today, to a South Haven, MI Army medic who ran into battle and saved 10 members of his company, while injured himself. Private First Class James McCloughan saved lives during the Battle of Nui Yon Hill, in 1969 in Vietnam.

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This says NOTHING about cleaning up after people pooping, so I think you're safe!
This says NOTHING about cleaning up after people pooping, so I think you're safe!
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Phantom Pooper Strikes at Whitmore Lake

Someone authorities should be calling "The Phantom Pooper" has struck again at the Whitmore Lake Athletic field, about 10 miles north of Ann Arbor. They're not calling him that, but it would be a great name for him. I say "him", because I doubt a woman would be pooping on a school field.

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Category: Michigan News Tags: , ,
Mating domestic cats - sex in nature
Neonci/ThinkStock
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Homeless Michigan Couple Busted for Boning in the Most Public Place They Could Find

A homeless couple in Jackson, MI decided it would be a great idea to make the Beast with Two Backs in front of the Consumers Energy headquarters building this morning. Maybe they were just proposing a new energy source? Friction?

Okay, that was gross, sorry.

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