A Public Service Announcement. Of Sorts.
I cannot say this enough times. LEGGINGS. ARE. NOT. PANTS.
They should not be worn in restaurants. They should not be worn in the mall. They should not be worn in the streets. You should not wear them at all. Unless you are jazzercizing in the comfort of your own home.
I don’t know where this pant impostor epidemic came from, but I want it to go away. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size zero, I do not want to see your lady bits on display while I’m strolling through the produce section. Leggings were initially designed to be workout clothes, so possibly making sweatpants acceptable in public was a sort of a gateway drug.
So please, the next time you consider taking yourself out into the world with some black spandex, and calling it an outfit, stop and reconsider. Ask yourself a few key questions.
1. Is it 1987? I can answer that one for you. No, it’s not. So, you should not be wearing pants made of spandex, lycra, or super stretchy cotton. If they have stirrups attached to the bottom, you’re already a lost cause.
2. Does my shirt cover ANY part of my body past my stomach? If the answer is no, leggings are absolutely not appropriate.
3. Is it possible that I will spontaneously need to exercise? No? Okay so then perhaps you shouldn’t wear them out and about at all times of the day.
4. Are you Lindsay Lohan? Now, while I do certainly realize that I am, in fact, quite awesome, I assume that LiLo doesn’t read what I write. So the answer is probably “no”. (Note: I’m pretty sure that Lindsay only owns leggings. No real pants. None. Perhaps she’s allergic to denim?)
If you think you might forget these questions, I suggest writing them on index cards and carrying them with you for quick reference. Also, you can hand them to someone you find wearing leggings as pants the next time you run into them (which will probably be the next time you go to the post office). Help spread the good word.
If we do this. If we band together. Maybe one day leggings will be sent to the fashion graveyard to rest in peace alongside skorts, scrunchies, and socks with sandals.