Pie is better than cake. You may believe that cake is the bee's knees, in which case you are sadly mistaken. Pie is not only better than cake, but it is the best dessert of all time.

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    It's Pie

    This may seem obvious, but have you ever considered how truly wonderful pie is? Pumpkin pie is a Thanksgiving staple; America is famous for baseball, hotdogs, and apple pie. There is no such thing as a "cake chart," but there is the "pie chart," which has helped convey information as a visual aid since 1801. Without pie, life as we know it would be wholly incomplete.

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    Pie Can Be Fruity

    Pie made with fruit is a great way to convince yourself that dessert can be "totally healthy." And they taste great! Peach, blueberry, cherry, apple, key lime, they're all amazing. Plus, pie is one of the only ways to eat rhubarb or boysenberries. Rhubarb cake? Pass. Strawberry rhubarb pie? Why yes, I'll eat four slices! (Don't judge.)

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    Pie Can Be Sweet

    For the days when you're not counting calories, pie still has you covered. French silk, peanut butter, coconut cream, banana cream, custard, and let's not forget Oreo pie (Baker Square makes the best Oreo pie). And there's nothing better than a peppermint pie at Christmastime... or any other time of year, for that matter!

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    Pie Can Be Savory

    Pie is the Swiss Army Knife of the dessert world; it's useful in nearly any situation! Pumpkin pie and pecan pie are on the more savory end of what many think of as traditional pie flavors, but don't forget about mincemeat pie (hey, if you don't like it, at least the British do) and of course, chicken pot pie. If it wasn't for that delicious, flaky pie crust, chicken pot pie would just be chicken chunks, peas, and carrots covered in bland sauce, much like wet dog food.

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    Pie's Closest Competitor is A Complete Joke

    Cake is the Luke Hemsworth of desserts: not Chris or Liam, but at least the last name is right, I guess.

    Can cake be fruity? Yes, it's called "fruitcake," and it is the best, most indestructible door stop you will ever invest in.

    Can cake be sweet? Sure, but if you don't put frosting on it, cake has nearly no taste. Then people get mad at you because they hate frosting, but then different people still get mad at you, because all they want to eat is frosting with a side of cake. Or, you can make everyone happy and just bake a pie.

    Can cake be savory? The only cake I've ever heard of with meat in it is a beefcake, which isn't a cake at all. Crab cakes are also savory, but why would you want to associate yourself with an underwater crustacean that shares its name with a grumpy person and a vernacular term for a parasitic lice infection?

    There's a reason why "sheet cake" and "sh*t cake" sound so similar.

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    It's Called a "Pizza Pie"

    Is it called a "pizza cake"? No, it's a "pizza pie." If there is one thing we can all agree on, it's that pizza is one of the tastiest foods out there, which is why it is also associated with pie, the tastiest dessert ever.

    In short, pizza is life, pie is life, and cake is garbage.

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